While Our Guitars Gently Weep
by overstar
Summary: Minami finds herself turned rock star when Patricia's cousin, John Martin, and his band come flying in from the states. With four crazy guys claiming to be an American Band, how will our girls survive the summer? Rated for Language. KONAMI in later chps.
1. Chapter 1

After years of being gone, I decided to give this fanfiction thing a whirl again. I figured what better way to kick off my arrival with a rewriting of my very first Lucky Star fanfic (I wrote it about three years ago).

Now before everyone screams at me for using OCs, I'm going to say right up front this isn't self insert. John, Nero, Randy, and Dean are in no way related to me but are rip-offs of American stereotypes for boys much like the four main Lucky Star girls are archetypes for anime clichés. I don't want to say too much but the archetypes for the guys should become obvious within the first three chapters.

This story switches between the perspectives of the two protagonists, John Martin and Minami Iwasaki. I do not own Lucky Star in any way, shape, or form.

vvvvvvv

**Chapter 1**

Born in the USA

Minami Iwasaki-

Music. It's safe to say that everyone likes music, but genres and styles become a whole different story. Take my friend Yutaka Kobayakawa; she loves J-Pop. Then there's my other friend Patricia Martin, who loves J-Pop even more. My third friend, Hiyori Tamura listens to…actually, I don't know what type of music Hiyori-chan likes. I guess it's safe to assume she likes J-Pop like my other friends do. Considering she likes anime and manga, it's hard to see her listening to anything else. If you took into account the music my friends liked, you could assume that I also loved J-Pop and J-Rock. Not that I won't occasionally listen to the latest pop song, but I prefer classic music much more than a young girl who can barely sing.

I think my love for classic music came when my mom forced piano lessons on me when I was five. I remember my instructor making me play the same melody over and over until I mastered it. To him, if it wasn't Beethoven or Chopin or Handel, it wasn't music. I learned the waltzes, the symphonies, and the opuses. He taught me so much classical music that I could reiterate the notes line by line. It's a wonder I don't hate classic music. I blame it as one of the reasons I rarely talk around people with the exception of my friends. Classical music taught me to be refined, and shyness taught me to stay out of people's way. Lucky for me, Yutaka's cuteness enticed me to help her when we first met. But that's beside the point. I'm talking about music right now.

When I was ten, my dad brought home a present from a business trip. It was an acoustic guitar, another musical instrument to grace my life. He stated how cool it would be for me to learn to play, and like a good daughter, I took the lessons, learning the notes, chords, and scales. This instructor pushed the whole "music is all about creativity" thing. He kept me relaxed and never got angry when I messed up. When I turned thirteen, my feminine appeal dropped to an all time low when the boys discovered my callused fingers. Having a flat chest and rough hands were a no no in high school. If I listen to Konata Izumi, Yutaka's animecentric cousin, my flat chest is a necessity in our world. Her words don't make me feel any better.

Right now, my old guitar collects dust in the back of my closest. The boys won, and my calluses hands murdered my love for playing guitar. It's hard for a girl at that age with a flat chest, rough hand, and a shy personality. I figured removing one of those defects would make me more appealing. I guess boobs weigh in far more than hands even when it comes to just making friends. But that was a long time ago (if you can consider three years a long time). Now, the boys sit around and tell vulgar jokes, date some girls, and leave others. We mostly ignore them, and they chase after the one's they deem worthy. I find the days spent with my four friends go by quicker than worrying if some stupid boy will come ask me out. I do wish my chest would grow a little though.

On Monday, February 10th, Patty came running in with some interesting news; news that would ultimately change the way I viewed music, boys, and my boobs.

I sat at my desk, biding my time before class started. Yutaka, who sat in front of me, was turned around, and we chatted about the coming spring. Like a little sister, Yutaka shortness gave her a helpless feeling, and they tugged at my material instincts. With her red hair, big green eyes, and lovely smile, she kicked her feet like a child. To be honest, I had trouble telling her apart from a grade school student. Yutaka wore the tradition red and white winter uniform from Ryoo High, but if she wore anything different, I could confuse her with the elementary school kids I see walking down my street.

Sitting at the end of my desk, Hiyori sketched away in her drawing book, looking as focuses as possible. Her glasses took up most her face, but I don't think I could see her any other way. As she drew, Hiyori made odd faces, supposedly the expression of those she drew. Anything from a smile to scowl formed on her mouth; it was really quite amusing. Grab me a bag of popcorn, and I had my own personal TV show.

Much like every day, Yutaka leaned in to see what her friend was drawing. "Oh wow Tamura-san," she squealed, "You're drawings are so good."

"I'm not that good." Hiyori blushed. She was very humble when it came to her work and very protective. Sometimes, she wouldn't let Yutaka or I see her work, saying that our eyes handle take it. I wondered what perverted thoughts jumble around her noggin. Hopefully, it wasn't anything about Yutaka or me.

"What are you working on this time?" I posed.

Hiyori scratched the back of her head. "This time I got a whole new story going. Picture this, it's the year 2056, and the Earth is currently ruled by an evil empire. It's up to a young, cat girl maid to save the world from tyranny." Why did this sound like any other generic anime/sci-fi/fantasy plot out there? However, Hiyori's eyes beamed, and that told me to just smile and nod. She continued, "I'm going to call it Clash of the Neko Warriors!"

"Can I read it when you're done?" Yutaka pleaded like a little kid. Hiyori rarely let her read anything; she rarely let me read anything. Sticking her pencil on her chin, our artist friend gazed up into the heaven. Her eyes twitched once or twice before she final glanced back down at us.

"Yes, this one doesn't have you two-I mean, anything perverted in it." I thought the whole cat girl maid thing sounded a bit perverted. Plus, I heard her mention of us in that statement. I decided it was best to say nothing. After all, artists are crazy.

It was about that time when Patricia Martin waltzed through the classroom doors. Blonde haired and blue eyes, she hailed from America, being a foreign exchange student from the land of cowboys, Wallstreet, and hot dogs (or so she says). However, Patty could care less about American things; she saw American things every single day (or so she says). She made it a point to love something different, and her love wrapped around anime. Her first introduction to our language was from anime; she took Japanese in high school because of anime. She originally learned the language because of anime (or so she says). If it wasn't animated, full of moe (whatever that means), or yaoi (don't get me started), Patty downright ignored it. She didn't even fit the typical look of an otaku girl. Most people would picture someone like me, who's less attractive and looks like a boy. Patty's face sparkled from the makeup she used, her eyes were ocean blue, and her skin was soft. To top it all off, she had big boobs. Why can't I have half the cup size she has? Looks meant nothing to Patty, and neither did male attention. If it wasn't anime, it wasn't for Patty.

So when she plopped down at her desk just to the left of mine, we had to know what happened. You don't normally see a girl wander in with a massive smile on their face unless something good happened. Instead of singing a J-Pop song for just our class to hear, I was sure the entire school heard her belt away the lyrics. I wouldn't be the one to ask what was up; I'd leave it to Yutaka. After all, she did most of the talking.

"Hey guys," Patty greeted, putting her bag down.

"You seem to be in a really great mood, Patty-chan," Yutaka said. Bingo, knew she would ask the question. Patty flashed a smile while she flipped open her bag, drawing the books needed for our first class. Her nimble finger ran through the pages as if mocking us. Damn it, tell us what happen!

She swooned. "I am in a great mood. You wanna know why?"

"Why?" Tamura-san asked, looking up from her drawing for a brief second.

"You have to guess!" Lovely, she couldn't just tell us. I never enjoyed guessing games or games in general. Board games, video games, game shows, I always lost first and ended up sitting in the corner while the others played. Patty's face lit up like a Christmas tree, a big, stupid Christmas tree. Where's the out lit, so I can unplug it?

Considering no one else started asking, I was the first to go. "Did a new anime come out?"

"No."

Yutaka went next. "Did a boy ask you out?"

"No, but you're getting closer."

I posed again, "So it deals with boys?" Patty nodded with a grin on her face. If it dealt with a boy, but he didn't ask her out, she either got proposed to, or had an NC-17 night with this stranger. I wanted to voice the second possibility, but better judgment told me otherwise.

Finally, Hiyori piped up. "Did you your cousin email you?"

"Ding Ding Ding!" Patty cheered, "Minami, tell her what she won." See, I always lose at these games, and now I had to present the winner with a prize.

"A brand new car…" It was the best thing I could come up with. Patty, on the other hand, had something else in mind. Her foot tapped which meant there was an error in my judgment.

She crossed her arms. "I was thinking a bishonen guy in a maid outfit, but I guess a car would be nice to." She did realize that we had no prize to give. Once her foot stopped tapping, Patty went full force on her explanation about this cousin I never heard of. It was only natural. Patty and Hiyori stuck to each other like glue from the moment they meant. It had to be the anime thing; the fan congregate or something like that. "As I was saying, my cousin emailed me. Well, he emails me every Monday back from the States, but he was telling me about his band-"

Yutaka cut in. "He's in a band! That's so cool."

"Not in one, he manages it," Patty corrected. I had to admit; it was still kind of cool. Speaking of bands, how old was her cousin? If he was managing a group, he could be in his forties and married for all I know. As if she read my mind, Patty said, "He's a little older than us like about eighteen. But he was telling me about this show he went too, and there was this girl that looked like me. He tried to get her number, but he's a nerd, so she refused him." Did you really have a right to say he was a nerd? Must run in the family. Also, I had a hard time figuring out how this made Patty's day. Unless she sadistically enjoyed watching her cousin fail at relationships, this conversation was going nowhere.

"Anyways, I told him about that huge show the Cancer Research Society is putting on. You know the charity concert that they show on Worldwide TV every three years." Patty's mouth sped on like a motor boat. For the record, The Cancer Research Society sponsored a huge global concert where big name bands from all around the world play. Much like the Olympics, countries slaughtered each other to host the show. It was a big deal that wracked in huge amounts of cash for cancer research and the host country. As my friend talked on, I started to realize where this was headed.

"Before the big bands play, they have a Battle of the Bands thing for amateur groups from around the world. Well, John says the group is really good, and I told them they should come and addition for a spot." I froze at those exact words. First off, impossibility failed to describe the difficulty in getting a spot in the Battle of Bands. Second, Patty's cousin was smarter than to spend a whole bunch of money on airline tickets just to be rejected. He was that smart…right?

At that exact moment, my mind went blank. The language barrier, cost, and times slipped away as I realized Patty was serious. Her cousin seriously considered the offer. I pictured these American guys showing up with no place to live or eat. Patty lived with the Izumi's; they had no room to board up five plus guys. Nothing good could come of it. Actually, nothing good did come of it, but the ordeal left me oddly satisfied.

John Martin-

If you ask anyone who the most popular music group was in America, 1964, they will tell you The Beatles. If you asked anyone in West Brick, Rhode Island who the most popular group was in 2008 , they would tell you, Slaughter Infinity. It didn't matter that we were some wide spot in the road with a small school, small population, and even small bathroom. At West Brick High School, everyone loved our group, and I was the one who put it all together. Sadly, no one really gives me any credit. I'm the manager and a nerdy one at that.

I originally got the idea to form a music group after visiting the retirement home my grandma stayed at. She's passed on now, bless her soul. When I entered and expected the smell of old people and cleaning supplies, my ears caught wind of a music coming from the recreation hall. Like a mouse drawn to cheese, I followed the sound until I found The Coppertones (yes, the same as the sunscreen). More importantly, I found two star members, Nero Seross and Jake Robinson. Nero, blonde haired and cocky, and his voice rhythmically jived to the lyrics of Silhouettes by the Rays. A song from the fifties fit the feeling of a retirement home. I knew the song, and I knew The Rays were an all African American group. Gabriel blessed him with talent; it didn't take Simon Cowell to tell me that. Playing to him, Jake light picked at his guitar, using what sounded like only a few notes. Compared to the other two, he felt more relaxed and in tune with his instrument (excuse the pun).

After their performance, I approached the lead singer. "You are amazing." It blurted out of my mouth like vomit. I couldn't believe what I just said.

"Thanks dude," Nero replied, seemingly fine with my comment. He looked no older than me, and Jake radiated sixteen. What were these two young guys doing playing fifties music? I listen to the crap that plays on the radio, and I wonder how Nero never got a big break.

Like a robot set to stupid, I kept blabbing my mouth. "I want you guys to be in my band." Jake and Nero shot each other some comical glances.

"Well, fuck a duck!" Nero joked, throwing his hands in the air. He and Jake burst into laughter, making me want to crawl into a hole and die. "Listen-"

"It's John, John Martin," I said, holding out my hand for a shake. Nero's eye brows rose, and the smile vanished for only a second. He realized I was either completely crazy or mentally retarded. Spitting a huge wade in his hand, Nero ferociously shook my hand until I thought my arm was going to pop off.

"It's Nero Seross. Listen John, I get a lot of invites to groups, and most of them aren't any good. However, fuck face right here might be willing to take you up on your offer." Jake stuck his tongue out at me like Gene Simmons did when he was in KISS. From that moment, I knew these two idiots were the biggest goofballs on the planet. I thanked them for their time, headed off to see my grandma, then headed home without another thought. Two days later, I learned Nero went to West Brick High, and in a fight that would get us suspended, he became my best friends. Starting that day, our nameless band formed.

Nero threatened Jake into joining me and my ventures to make a quick buck. I had no musical talent, couldn't play an instrument, and couldn't tell you the difference between notes. What I had was a gut instinct, and if momma taught me anything, it was go with your gut. My gut told me Nero and Jake were a great start, but two people don't make a band. We needed group of four or more if we intended to get anywhere. Lucky for me, three days after Jake agreed to join the group, we met Randy Agner. In the Spring Talent show, he played bass and sang lead for a local school group. While the others were off key, Randy's voice reached an octave higher than that of a woman or Frankie Valli. I mean that in the best way possible. Also, Nero's ears knew music, and he instantly commented on his bass playing.

"We need him," Nero yelled, grabbing onto my shirt, "We need him now." And thus, Randy Agner joined our still nameless group. He was more than ready to participate in band that actually had skill. Pumped that we had three members, I thought we were going to the top. With Randy of bass, Jake on lead guitar, and Nero playing guitar, bass, piano or any other musical instrument, the band morphed from an egg to a fetus. We lacked one thing, a drummer. Out of all the instruments Nero knew, he never bothered to learn drums.

"Drums are for idiots," he said, "Notice how no one loves the drummer. We need someone no one will love." About a month later, Jake came to us with stunning news. Turned out, he knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew someone's sister, who knew a guy, who knew a guy named Dean Castrovo. Dean was a drummer, and with nothing to lose, we headed out to see his drumming skill. And were we ever surprised.

Unlike Nero, Dean bore a head of gold, dirty, nasty, sick gold. It looked like he hadn't shampooed his hair in a year. Also, he seemed high, really high. With his Dragon Force T-shirt, Dean banged on those bongos, shattering our expectations into a billion pieces. We found our drummer. He was in no group and offered to join us; we didn't have to ask. Later, Dean met us at the high school cafeteria. Nero caught him snooping around his locker during 1st hour passing. Funny how someone so talented could be right under my nose.

With our member, I proudly announced to the group, "Well guys, we've grown from a fetus to a baby." Nero's eyes sparkled with my words. He stood up as if God commanded him to rise from his seat.

"That's it," he muttered as his epiphany continued.

"What's it?" Dean asked.

"Our name, we'll call the band Slaughter Infants." It was safe to say that the name didn't go over too well. However, no one offered anything better, so we became Slaughtered Infants. The band's name would alter a year later. We bought T-shirts and asked for the name to be printed on them. When they arrived a month later, they warped our name into Slaughtered Infinity. Thankfully, it stuck.

The band entered several phases before we got our break. One month, Nero dressed everyone up in Civil War Confederate uniforms, and we called ourselves Robert E Lee and the Rebels. Another month, Nero got the whole Goth thing going on, but black looked really dumb on baby faced Jake. Tons of fads came and went until the guys decided to adorn classy suits and play "She Loves You" by The Beatles at the Spring Talent show. Instead of being ridiculed by the students, Slaughtered Infinity received a standing ovation. We still lost the talent show to this chick who did Karate. Go figure that… After that, West Brick buzzed with news of our group; we were a local hit. A local radio station played one of our covers.

Life was going good, better than I expected. Then, two years after the band formed, I received an email from the dear cousin in Japan. The Global Battle of the Bands was looking for participants.

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Well, there you have it. The first chapter is complete, and I must say it sure was fun to see it evolve from what it used to be.

I hope to get some reviews from the readers out there, and expect to learn more about our four guys and see more Lucky Star characters in the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

On to the next chapter, hopefully I can publish these every few days or so

I do not own Lucky Star

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Chapter 2

What John found in his inbox and when Minami helps a friend

John Martin-

_Dear John_

_You won't believe my luck over the last couple of days. Three days ago, I found a five hundred yen coin in my sock. Two days ago, I discovered a manga I loved was being turned into an anime, and they used the same cast from the drama CDs. Yesterday, I aced a test I didn't study for. This week has been epic. How are you doing? Is the band doing well?_

_Did you hear that Japan won the 7__th__ Tri-annual Global Concert? I was so excited because I knew you guys wanted to participate in the battle of the bands section. I got to thinking; why don't you guys come down for the summer and participate? Sure, you'll have to learn the language, pay for tickets, but I bet I can convince some of my friends to let you stay. As you know, I currently live with three other people, and they couldn't take one hungry guy let alone five. Email me back and tell me if I should start making sleeping arrangements. Don't worry about it John; Patty will take care of everything here. _

_Love, your cousin_

_Oh yea, I found this pair of underwear that was sort of slutty. Do you think I should buy it? _

Vvvvvvvvvvvv

Nero read over the message for a second time. He looked less impressed as he reached the very bottom. My email, filled with messages from my cousin, rarely was viewed by anyone but myself. However, the possibility of attending the 7th Tri-annual Global Concert created a whole new approach to our group. I half expected Nero to be bouncing off the wall, screaming at the top of his lungs like a little girl. Instead, he sat there stoically, shaking his head as if to ask why I even bothered.

"I don't want to go to Jap Land," he groaned; his finger quickly closed the message.

"Why not? You've wanted to attend the Battle of the Bands since we form Slaughtered Infinity." There was no reasoning with Nero. With another shake of his head, I saw our chances for success and popularity run down the drain. He did realize this was a once in a life chance? America never won the Concert in history; we'd be old before our government got their grubby hands on it. How could he throw this away?

He replied, "I have a few reasons. Number 1, all the weird shit comes from Japan. They brought us anime and the man bra. Now I ask myself, do I really want to go there? Second, I have no urge to learn a new culture and language. Third, I hate flying. Fourth, Patty isn't going to be able to convince anyone to take us in. Fifth-" I stopped him there. It was too unbearable to listen to Nero nitpick Patty's idea to hell.

"I get your point," I reasoned, "but we have to try. Why don't we see what the others think."

"Do you really think I care what Dean and Cock Face have to say?" he spat. I forgot to mention. Nero blessed Randy with the nickname Cock Face. It was a long story that involved Wal-Mart, a manikin, a plastic bag, and Nero's family jewels. Randy hated the name, but it didn't stop us from calling him that. Actually, I thought it was funny.

"Stop being selfish," I yelled, "The whole band has a say in what we do. If they want to go to Japan and participate in this thing, we'll find some way to go." Nero rolled his eyes as he played with the icons on my desktop.

He stopped just shy of scattering them all over the screen. "Did you reply to that last message?"

"Yea….why?" He grinned manically, tapping his finger together like those evil geniuses from superhero movies.

"How did you reply to that last sentence?" he inquired. I knew he would ask something like this.

"I told her to go ahead." I replied honestly. Nero patted my shoulder.

"You're going to picture her in those aren't you?"

My teeth ground together. "I thought we agreed not to talk about this anymore." When we were kids, Patty hung around me most of the time. I was a loser, a nerd, who had his friends but really never impressed any of the girls. Because Patty enjoyed playing game more than she did dolls or makeup, we got along like two boys. As the years went on, I…fell in love with my cousin. Yes, I admit it; I love Patty in a creepy kind of way. Nero was the only one who knew, and we agreed never to speak of it. Honestly, Dean and Cock Face probably knew. My computer wall paper was Patty in her school uniform, my iPod had her picture on it, pictures of us lined my room, and I even had a poster printed. When Patty left for the foreign exchange program, my heart sank faster than the Titanic in a freezer. We kept in touch via email; every Monday was Patty reply day, and I looked forward to Mondays like they were Fridays.

"Dude, I respect your love," Nero assured. Nero taunted people he thought were weird, so his respect meant a lot…I guess…sort of… "It might be weird and full of incest, but that's a love few people experience."

"Why do I have a feeling you're making fun of me?"

Nero shook his head. "I'm proud of you man. You've taken love to the next level. You've gone beyond the 'I wanna fuck that' phase and entered the 'I want to love that' phase." Those phases sounded the same to me. Yea, he was making fun of me.

"I really don't want to talk about it," I said, "Why don't we regroup tomorrow and discuss this Japan thing." Nero bolted to my front door and out to his car. A sigh left my lips as I slunk back into the computer chair. He was right; Patty was crazy if she thought we could pull anything off. Besides, Cock Face would refuse the offer, Jake enjoyed America too much, and Dean was too stupid to know what was going on. Only by some miracle could we pull off a trip to the land of the rising sun. It would take a whole other miracle to even get into the Concert.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

And God has one weird senses of humor. When I arrived at school the next day, Dean, Cock Face, and Jake were waiting for me by the picnic table under the big oak. Before I could announce Patty's message, they surrounded me, piling on the questions concerning the Concert. Obviously, Nero told them first. Their words mashed together as the guys tried speaking over each other; they even pushed me to the ground.

"Hold up!" I screamed, "Everyone, please one at a time." Cock Face came forward first. His eyes looked larger than any anime girl on this planet. His hand shot out, gripping my color and pulling me to my feet. I lifted off the ground, and panic surged through my veins. Oh my God, they were trying to kill me.

Using his Hulk strength, Cock Face asked, "Did your cousin tell you something about the Concert?" When I nodded my head, he slowly lowered me until my poor feet rested against the dirt. For a second there, I saw bits of my life flash before my eyes.

"Yes," I answered before anyone could assault me further, "Patty said she was trying to arrange a place for us to stay. I just need answers from the group."

Dean stepped forward. "Dude, I wanna meet some hot Asian babes. I'm in."

"You do realize that you'll be undergoing intense cultural and language lessons?" I asked before Dean could say anymore. Let's face it, Dean was never one to study or do anything that wasn't sit around, watch TV, or play drums. He would agree to go then cop out the moment the classes got to tough. Considering the Concert was in October, we needed a crash course in Japanese and pronto.

"I'm cool," Dean replied, "I got A's in Spanish." Our group did a double take.

"You got A's in a class?" Jake asked.

"Yup, in Spanish."

Cock Face's mouth dropped. "What did you do, have sex with the teacher?"

"Guys, I worked really hard," Dean defended, "I might come off as a little slow, but America is where my heart is. I love America." Cock Face and I glanced at each other.

"You do realize that Spanish isn't even remotely American…" I posed.

"That's where you're wrong, John." Damn, Dean was on a roll today. If the stars lined up just right, a burst of intelligence and passion flooded Dean's mind. Nine times out of ten, we would ruin it with some retarded comment the next day.

Dean continued with his lecture, "In America, the illegal immigrants are people too. When I become a rich and famous, I need to hire them to cut my grass. I think I need to know there language with which we are to communicate." Ok, I lied; the stars were not aligned or even close to coming in contact with each other.

I ignored Dean's comment. "Ok so dumb ass is in. I need to know if you two are."

"I don't know." Cock Face scratched his chin. Out of the group, he usually had the most going on except for Nero when he was dating someone, but that only lasted a few days. "Michelle wanted to go away this summer, and I got to think about college."

Jake snickered. "Fuck college dude. I'm in." Great, I had two out of two. Nero already voiced his opposition, and Cock Face acted oblivious to the awesomeness of this situation.

"Come on, Randy," I pleaded, "You can do something with Michelle anytime, but this is a once in the lifetime opportunity. What do you say?"

Cock Face kicked up the dirt below him. His heart was torn between his long time girlfriend (who is a massive bitch), and the possibility of fame and fortune. "I don't know. Is anything even set in stone?" When someone is presented with a choice involving fame and glory or spending time with giant bitch, a normal person would choose fame and glory because then could get any annoying bitch they wanted to. My fist clenched as I drew ready to pounce on Cock Face and punch some sense into him.

"Come on man," Dean said, "If Michelle really care about you, she'd let you go." All eyes targeted Dean even Cock Face's. Michelle cared for him the same way an exterminator cares about mice. Cock Face never broke up with her because she threatened to castrate him in public. Told you she was a crazy bitch.

"Dean, you're right," Cock Face said, "I think it's high time that I had my own way in this relationship. I'm gonna be the dominate one." He looked up at the school, yelling at the top of his lungs. "Hear that Michelle, I'm going to Japan."

"Who's going to Japan?" From behind us, Nero approached with his posse of girls. The hung off his arms like party streamers, and from the looks of things, Nero could barely move his upper body. Not that he really cared. He slept with all them on multiple occasions. It was heartbreaking to watch considering my relationship statues had a big fat zero on it. I saved myself for Patty….it was what I said to keep myself from crying at night.

I started, "The band has decided to travel across the world and participate in the Concert. It's four to one Nero; you lost."

"I don't really consider this fair," Nero said, breaking away the loving grips of his women. If Nero broke away, something was because he never left a girl when she was touching him. "You guys voted without me. I consider and breach on our friend contract, and fuck you all."

"We don't have a friend contract…" Cock Face reminded.

"Guess what guys, there's still one tiny little problem." Nero's posse began to surround him again until he was covered head to toe in girls. Shaking violently, he tossed them to the side, staring directly at who appeared to be the ring leader. "Could all you like fuck off? I'm talking to the guys about business, and you're too stupid understand." Snapping their gum, Nero's posse fled into the halls of the school. The group was finally alone; the school bell would ring in five minutes.

Dean watched as the last chick passed through the school door. "Why can't you hook me with one of those babes?"

"Sorry Dean, those girls don't like to have sex with faggots." Nero insulted, "As I was saying, I hate flying more than anything in the world. I would rather be ganged rape than fly five feet. So um yeah, that sort of fucks up our little trip to Japan now."

"You couldn't be on an airplane for five minutes?" Jake asked. Nero adamantly shook his head. Just the mention of flying, sent his heart racing and his breathing increased tenfold. Here's another interesting story about Nero. When he was five, his cousins tied sticks and leaves to his arms in hopes that he could glide. They climbed up on their barn and threw Nero off. He did not glide so well.

Nero yelled, "I broke my fucking arm in that incident. I can't even climb stairs without feeling like my heart is in my ass."

"I got an idea," Dean said, "Let's blindfold you and put you in kennel. If you bark a couple times, they'll think you're a dog and put you in a cardboard box. You won't know you're flying then!"

Cock Face looked dumbfounded. "Who do you buy your pot from because I would really like to buy some?"

"Congratulations Duke Fuckingham, that is the singles dumbest thing I've ever heard," Nero continued where our bass player left off. It didn't even make sense. Dean, on the other hand, took pride in his comment. What more could we do but let him have his fun?

"Would you go if we take a boat?" Jake asked.

"Do you know how long it would take to get there by boat?" I said. I might have gotten the best band on the planet, but their IQ scores failed to reach positive numbers. God transpired against me from seeing Patty or seeing Slaughtered participate in the Concert. I had Nero who wouldn't fly, Dean and Jake who were no smarter than lead, and Cock Face whose girlfriend's a complete bitch.

Finally, Nero said something that made sense, something that brightened my day. "Look, we want to participate in the Concert. I'll bite; I'll go through the Jap classes, I'll save the money, and I'll even ride on the fucking airplane. None of you better wimp out, or I will personally lock your nuts in a vice grip." The group looked to me, the manager and planner. Yea, I got it. I would make plans for the classes on culture and language, buy the tickets, and manage everyone's funds. It was a walk in the park compared to what I'm used to.

When I went home that night, I emailed Patty our group's response.

_Dear Patty_

_ By some miracle, I convinced the guys to go through this the trip over to see you. We hope to participate in the Battle of the Band, but if not, it will be a great experience, and we can see each other again. Hard to believe it's been almost a year since you came over to my house. I'm going to look into plane tickets and the like, but I need to know where we will stay. We can't very well stay in a hotel for a couple of months. I assume we are staying for a month or two? _

_Get back to me when you can, you cousin John _

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Minami Iwasaki-

The Izumi's kitchen smelled of freshly baked cookies. I reached my gloved hand into the oven, pulling out a sheet of vanilla cookies made by Yutaka. With her Cousin Konata Izumi's help, we managed to craft a lovely looking batch. Hopefully, they tasted as good as they smelled. I glanced down at my friend's creation; the hint of vanilla tickled my noise. I didn't want to wait for them to cool.

"Do these look ok, Onee-chan," Yutaka asked her cousin, who was busy plucking away at a Nintendo DS.

"Yea yea yea," Konata yelled, mashing away at the buttons, "just give me five minutes, only five minutes." The sounds of explosions emitted from the speakers on her game. With her right hand, she pressed buttons. With her left, she scratched away at the touch screen; her hand barely looked human as they moved so fast. The most amazing part, she balanced the thing on her knee.

As Konata played her game, I commented on Yutaka's creation, "They look excellent."

"Thank you Minami-chan!" An explosion from the DS cut Yutaka's smile which was followed by a huge thump. Konata, hands still in position to hold the thing, stared down at her DS, which was broke into pieces on the floor. Her mouth quivered as tears formed.

"Noooooooo!" she screamed, "My DS, my poor little DS. It never hurt anyone, ever." She scooped it up, rocking it like a new born baby.

Yutaka ran over to her cousin. "What happened?"

"I died and kicked my legs," Konata wept, "and now it's dead." Well, that was why you don't balance electronic on your knees. With her departed friend in hand, Konata sulked off into the hallway; her door slammed shut.

"Um…" I said, "Who's going to tell us if our cookies are good."

I didn't have much to fear as Konata's door opened once again. She came out, looking as if nothing happened. In her hand was another DS. Wait, so she has multiples of the same system? Turning it on, she returned to her spot in the kitchen.

"Ah, it's ok," she assured, "I was thinking of replacing that one anyways." Tough love, I guess…

"Onee-chan, you didn't say if the cookies were ok," Yutaka reminded. Konata lifted her head away from her game. Her eyes scanned over the cookie sheet before reaching her hand over. Her fingers pulled one of the cookies from their spot. With a gasp, Yutaka slapped her hand, returning the pastry to its resting location. "Konata, you need to wait till everyone gets here before you can have some."

"But they look so good," Konata mumbled, sniffing the cookie sheet. Her eyes glazed over as she filled with the smell of fresh cookies. Water sparkled from her lips as her tongue ran over them.

Yutaka picked up the cookies Konata tried to take. "Well, I guess one is ok."

"You mean it!" Konata shouted, taking her cousins hands, "You're the best Yu-chan, simply the best." Yutaka also handed me a cookies. I gratefully took it, popping it in my mouth at the same time Konata did. We chewed and chewed and chewed until the cookies became mushy. Something…wasn't right. I glanced over at Konata, whose face went white as a sheet. Was the cookie supposed to taste like burnt rubber?

"How are they?" Yutaka asked with a bright smile. I couldn't tell her the truth.

"They're great," I mentioned, swallowing. Like nails, the mushy cookie toppled down my throat. I hope I didn't have to eat another.

Konata forced hers down as well. "Yutaka, it's just another example of why you are a walking factor of moe!" She coughed, getting that last tastes from under her tongue.

"I heard someone talking about moe!" With the sound of ruffling paper and a high pitched voice behind us, I turned to see Patricia swinging a slip of paper in her hand. With her bright eyes, she skipped into the kitchen, tossing her arms around Yutaka. "Are we talking about Yu-chan?"

"You better believe it," Konata replied.

Yutaka held up her trey of cookies. "Patty-chan, please have one." With a "don't mind if I do", Patty swiped up a single cookie. Konata and I shut our eyes and wished for the best. If only I could tell her it wasn't any good? As the square sweet touched her tongue, Patty began chewing frantically. In an instant, her face turned a strange purple color. "How is it?"

"Awesome…" Patty mumbled as the cookie traveled down her esophagus. She also let out a cough.

"What do you have there?' I posed, looking at the slip of paper. Instead of simple telling me, she slammed it up against my face. The text was so close; I couldn't begin to make out what it said.

"Read it!" Patty commanded.

I mumbled, "It's a little close."

"Fine, I'll read it to you then!" she pulled it away from my face. I could have read it if you handed it to me. Patty spouted of the information on the paper. Her cousin, John Martin, sent it to her the night before. It was confirmation on their bands interest in coming. Actually, it was a full fledge yes. Who would agree to such terms? This guys had to be either crazy or completely over the top.

"That's great, Patty-chan," Yutaka cheered.

"Where are you planning on them staying?" I asked. There was still that little problem.

Patty looked to Konata. "Do you think we have room here?"

"No…" A direct answer from the daughter of the landowner. Considering Izumi-san and Konata lived in a rather small house, and they housed Yutaka and Patty, the possibility of putting up five or more guys went to an all time zero. Konata went on. "Even if we had the room, my dad wouldn't let boys stay here. He's way to protective."

Yutaka laughed, "That's Izumi-san." Funny…Konata always talked of her father as some creepy otaku in love with high school girls. Don't get me wrong; he was a really nice guy with a big heart. A creepy feeling came over me whenever we were in the same room. I never wanted to be alone with him…

"Awww…" Patty complained, "But who else has a really big house?" You thought Konata's house was big?

"Why not ask Miyuki-san?" Konata suggested, "They have a pretty big house."

Knowing the Takura's personally, I could see them agreeing to such hefty demands. They were rather trusting of just about anyone, and Miyuki was super smart but kind of an airhead. Her mother was the same way minus the smart part. I felt an urge to protect them; I voiced my protest, "Isn't that a little much to ask?"

"I guess," Konata mumbled, "but you could always try!"

"But I don't know Takura-san that much…" Patty groaned.

"Minami-chan lives next door," Yutaka announced. No, don't tell her that… Did she know how hard it would be to ask Takura-san to take in a bunch of random guys in?

Patty took my hands. "You do!" She sounded as air and bubbly as a schoolgirl who got her first kiss. I backed away before Patty went all maniac on me.

"I don't feel comfortable asking…" Patty fell at my feet, gripping my blue pleated skirt. Tears ran down her eye; I could tell they were fake. As she rubbed her head against my leg, she begged with all her might. I didn't have the heart to shake her off.

"Please Minami-chan," she cried, "I don't want to email him back and tell him of my failure. They never fail in animes…" Well, this wasn't an anime. Konata and Yutaka watched as this event unfolded. Their big eyes were on me. Yutaka's face pleaded just as much as Patty did. Even Konata told me not to be so stingy. I sighed, pulling the American to her feet.

"I'll ask…" I said, "but don't get mad when they say no."

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"Of course they can stay here!" Takura-san said over a cup of coffee. Gathering around the Takura's table, Patty, Yutaka, Miyuki, Konata, and I watched as Miyuki's mother agreed to allow total strangers in their house. She said it all with a smile too. I sipped at my tea in complete shock. Yea, the Takuras trusted to many people.

"Oh my," Miyuki began, "We haven't had long term guests in ages. Do you think father will be fine with it?"

Takura-san nodded. "He's always away on business. Of course, he won't mind." Much like any polite young girl, Patty bowed her head. If I didn't know better, she looked quite normal and nothing like a crazy otaku.

"Thank you so much ma'am," she said after bowing, "I believe my cousin will be bringing four friends along. I hope it will not be trouble?" Miyuki and her mother glanced at each other worriedly. When Patty initially brought it up, she failed to specify how many would be staying. It came back to bite her on the butt.

"I'm sorry, we only have two rooms available," Miyuki explained, "and they both have single beds." Patty sighed as she watched her plans burn into dust. I started to feel bad for her, and I was against asking. Seeing Patty down felt downright wrong.

Yutaka felt the same way. "You could always ask Iwasaki-san if they could stay there. You know, two could stay at the Takuras and two could stay with the Iwasaki's."

"Hey Yu-chan, that's not a bad idea," Konata said. No, it really was a bad idea. Yutaka's flash of genius happened to come right now…out of all places. She couldn't have discovered a cure for cancer or solve the problem nuclear war with it. The worst part was there were two open rooms at my place. My father also worked long hours and spent a decent time on business trips. We saw him maybe twice every week, holidays, and during the winter quite a bit. It would be mom's decision.

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea." Miyuki wasn't helping matters. Once again, all eyes were on me. The pressure sank in; I couldn't tell them no. I suck at lying too…

"We can ask," I muttered, "but mom will probably tell us no."

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"Of course they can stay here!" I was surrounded by idiots. Much like Takura-san, my mom didn't think twice before agreeing to Patty's demands. I bit my lip, trying not to say anything against this. If mom said it was ok, it was ok, but did anyone care how I felt about five strange guys hanging around us? Plus, they were American. If they were anything like Patty, I didn't want them around.

"Are you sure?" Patty asked one final time.

Mom nodded her head. "If we can work with the Takuras, it will be no problem at all. It has been ages since we've had company. Are you excited Minami?" I merely smiled at my mother. Our dog, Cherry, sat under my feet, snoozing like he always did in the winter months. Actually, he slept all the time.

"See Patty-chan, I knew it would work out," Yutaka said, "Oh, I'm so excited to meet them."

"My cousins a loser, but he's nice," Patty replied with a smirk. I was glad to know she had such a high opinion of her cousin… I couldn't help but sigh when Patty threw her arms around me. She was the happiest I'd seen her in a while, and trust me, Patty never acted sad.

"Do you know his other friends?" Konata posed.

She shook her head. "I've only got blips of info. I know their names are Nero, Dean, Randy, and Jake. Nero is John's best friend, but he says the other guys are cool." Who names their kid Nero…? Someone had a love for the Roman Empire and crazy people.

"Are they cute?"Thanks for that one mom. However, Yutaka, Konata, and Miyuki leaned in just a tad closer as if they were awaiting some answer.

Patty shrugged. "I can't say for the other guys, but my cousin is kind of plain."

"Would it kill someone to get a little romance in our lives…" Konata grumbled, "I'm talking about like in the games and anime. The cute girl always fall in love with the cute guy, it's like a written law." As Kagami Hiiragi would say, only in your fantasy world, Konata.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvv

John Martin-

Three days before our flight to Japan, I got the call. Since mid-February, the guys and I took a crash course in Japanese culture and language. We went four days a week for three hours, worked part time jobs, and still went to school. On the weekends, we practiced songs for the big day. The months rolled by; we were set on our goal. I saved several thousand for the trip. Every penny went towards our big vacation to Japan. And then, I got the call three days before we left.

My phone rang. "Hello?" I answered despite seeing it was Jake's number.

"Hey John, what's up," he replied back. Jake never called to say hi.

"What do you want?" There was a long silence as I waited for a response. I could hear him mouth breathing from the other side.

He started in, "You know how we got this Japan trip in three days?" No, I just up and forgot about it.

"Yea, I remember…"

"I can't go." Jake's words were funny. The fucking little jokester thought he could get a rise out of me.

"Real funny…" I mumbled.

"No, I'm serious. I kind of didn't tell my parents about it until yesterday, and they said I can't go." This joke wasn't funny anymore. Jake annoyed the hell out of me while I was trying to work of sorting my money. Why did he like to do this?

I rolled my eyes. "You're retarded."

"I'm not kidding around," he reinforced, "My parents won't let me go."

"You're not shitting me?"

"No!"

I yelled into the receiver, "Why the hell would you not tell them? What did they think we were taking those Japanese classes for?"

"I didn't tell them about that either."

"Then what did they think you were doing?"

"I don't know!" I couldn't believe this. Jake pulled the biggest dick move on the planet. Our lead guitarist couldn't go because he was retarded. Dean would proud; that was how bad this got. My palms grew sweaty enough that I was having a tough time holding the phone.

I asked, "What are we supposed to do?"

"Um…I don't know," Jake replied, "I'll see you around though." The phone went dead.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Another long night of writing for me. With college looming over the horizon, I hope I have time to work on this and my other novel. I'll keep updating if you all keep reading.

Please be sure to leave a review, thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

I feel so lethargic these last few days. I don't want summer to end. Konata is right; school sucks.

So, on to Chapter 3

Chapter 3

In Japan, bow first

John Martin-

Two days before our big trip…

Nero furiously pounded on Jake's front door. His hands turned a red blue color as he continued his rant for ten minutes, then twenty. Cock Face, Dean, and I watched as Nero tore his hands to shreds. Eww…blood started to run down the door frame. With Jake gone, the dream of reaching stardom exploded in front of our poor band. The typhoon of life collided with our frail bodies. The supernova of existence blotted out our stars. The…ok I'll stop with the dream crushing metaphors.

"Come on Jake!" Nero screamed at the top of his lungs, "I only want to talk. How about you come down here?"

The currents from the second floor shifted; the window popped open. "I'm sorry guys. My parents said I can't go…"

"I respect your parent's decision," Nero explained, "but somebody made a poopsy-oopsy, and he needs to fix it. So why don't you come down here and talk?"

"I'm scared…" Fed up with Jake, Nero picked up the largest stone he could find. He chucked it up at the second floor window, hitting the siding instead of the glass. Jake let out a little girl scream.

"Come on, friend," Nero said, "What are you afraid of?"

I stepped in. "Ok Nero, I think that's enough. Jake isn't coming, and we can't really change that." A depressing sigh left the group's lips. Giving one final vulgar statement, Nero returned to his not so asshole friends. Thanks a lot Jake; you really screwed us over this time.

"So what are we going to do?" Cock Face posed, "We can't very well play in the Concert without a lead guitarist."

"Maybe we should cancel the trip…" Nero muttered, "I wouldn't have to fly then, and we could save all that money for something useful…like stripers." We waited to see if Dean had any ideas concerning our predicament. Instead of paying attention to us, he busily harassed a bumblebee that was minding his own business. Now, we waited to see if he would get stung.

"Come here bee," Dean yelled. Not happy with Dean's swatting, the bee flipped a bitch and landed right on Dean's arm. Becoming a martyr for all bee kind, the noble little bumble took a stab into Dean's arm. Our friend let out a yelp.

Nero sighed again. "Well, retard doesn't have any opinion. I guess this one's up to you, John." Did Nero really need an answer from me? I would go just to see Patty and forget the entire group. I didn't care if they even came. Actually, it might be better if I went alone. That way Patty wouldn't suffer through Nero's dickery, Cock Face's…whatever, or Dean's mental retardation.

My statement went completely against my thoughts. "We should still go and enjoy ourselves. We spent how much money learning Japanese and preparing for this?"

"I guess…" Cock Face muttered, "but the whole point is ruined thanks to Jake…"

"I hate flying…" Nero groaned.

After a quick massage of his arm, Dean joined in. "It would be cool if we could find someone who could play guitar when we were over there." Wow, Dean paid attention to our conversation. I figured the bee sting kept him from focusing on what was important. Wait…did he just say something smart? Like he witness pigs fly, Nero's eyes widened, and his mouth fell to the floor.

"Dean just had a good idea…" he muttered, "Say that again Dean."

"We could find someone who could play guitar in Japan." Though impractical, it provided a glimmer of hope for our group. Nero and I exchanged glances; smiles formed on our lips. Patty didn't mention any of her friends playing a musical instrument, but Japan housed millions. At least one of them had to be free and willing to play for us.

"Dean," Nero began, "I think I will only say this once in my life, but you said something intelligent. Congrats…"

Dean nodded his head proudly. "Watch me be the next Steven Hawking guys." We held up out hands to his mouth. Please Dean, don't ruin this glorious moment.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

That day of the flight-

Loading up our luggage took most of the morning. Considering we each brought two bags with clothes, our instruments (five of those which were Nero's), and carryon bags, we filled two minivans full of what amounted to crap. First, everything didn't fit, but if we stuffed Dean's suitcases in-between the drums and the three guitars, we got the first van closed. The second one, containing our normal bags, was on the brink of dumping out the back end by the time we forced the hatch down. To make matters worse, Nero wouldn't shut up.

"Guys, I have a really bad feeling about this," he complained as I buckled him up. He became paralyzed with fear…literally.

"You will be fine," Cock Face assured, "We'll all be there with you, so don't fret so much."

Nero bit his lip. "I don't know. What if the plan enters a tail spin, and we crash into the ocean? I don't swim that well."

"Flying is the safest form of travel," I mentioned, "Besides, airplane accidents are few and far between."

"What about a terrorist attack?" Now Nero was getting stupid. The plane had a better chance of exploding in mid air. "It's been a while since we've had one. I think America is due for another attack." He sounded like he planned on doing the attack.

"Why would terrorist want to hijack a flight to Japan?"

Nero shrugged. "Why not? Maybe, they're Asian terrorists, and they'll make us all commit suicide to honor the Emperor." I don't think Japan even has an Emperor anymore. Besides, that suicide/honor stuff was ancient history. Europe came over, and when they show up at your front door, your culture was basically fucked.

"Do you guys want to blindfold him so we can get going?" Cock Face posed, "Our flight leaves in two hours, and we have a two vans full of luggage." I hated to see what our airport bill would cost. Locking Nero in the passenger side of the van, we took off; I drove with Nero while Cock Face drove with Randy in the other van. The whole way, Nero went on about horrible things that could happen in flight. His comments got farfetched enough that he had Godzilla rising out of Tokyo Bay to eat our plane. We weren't even flying into Tokyo. To make matters worse, Cock Face tailgated the hell out of me while the guy in front of us strolled along at 50 miles an hour. Come on people, the freeway was faster than this. With about an hour left, we arrived at the airport, luggage in hand.

I took liberty of talking with the airline staff and checking our bags in. "We have all of these."

"Um…" the lady looked at me like I was high. Let's see, we had two suitcases per person, totaling eight, a drum set with multiple cases, a bass, three guitars, two more instruments Nero decided to bring, a mysterious black bag that Nero said was important, and four carryon bags.

Before we could begin the check in process, Nero stepped forward. "I need to know. How safe are these airplanes?"

"They're very safe, sir."

"How safe are they from terrorist attacks?" Nero went on, "If I were to draw a gun and threaten the stewards with them, how would they defend the other passengers? Are they equipped with their own weapons or do they know an advance form of martial arts?" The clerk watched us all suspiciously. I felt my heart enter my feet as Nero dug a larger hole. "Also, if we all drew guns on the plane, do you have enough staff to combat four armed terrorists?"

Cock Face punched him harder enough to send Nero to the floor. "Are you trying to get us arrested?"

"I am so sorry," I said to clerk, "He is very nervous about flying." The clerk's face didn't change much. To her, we became a threat or what amounted to a possible threat. I was surprised she agreed to check the luggage in. Once our fees were paid, we dragged Nero's sorry ass away; Cock Face's punch knocked more out of him than I thought. Next came security.

"Sir, I need you to open that black bag and let me see the contents," a police officer order. Yea, we got thrown into a "random" screening. I doubt Nero's questions had anything to do with this… Normally, these things took a few minutes. However, Nero hugged his mysterious black bag close to his chest.

"You don't need to see this!" he snapped, "This is private and very personal."

I pleaded with him. "Nero, the flight is going to leave in like fifteen minutes. We need to get through."

"Sir, I will confiscate your bag if you won't show it to me." Nero shook his head. He jumped to the floor, holding the bag under his immense weight. Good God, we wouldn't get anywhere like this. Hell, we'd probably end up detained and questioned by the CIA.

"Dean, fetch the bag," Cock Face commanded. Like a dog, Dean pulled Nero from the ground, shaking him until he lost his grip with the bag. Like a hawk, I snatched it up; Nero cried for me to stop. Geez, this thing was heavy. I struggle with his carryon, barely managing to place it up on the table. The female police officer opened it; her face went white. My face went white… If there is a God in heaven, please let this bag not be full of weapons.

My prayers were answered. The officer removed DVDs, lots and lots of DVDs. I picked one of them up; my face went white again. On the cover, three girls in schoolgirl uniforms were making out with each other. "You brought your porn collection?"

"Not the whole thing," he said, "Only my lesbian porn." There was like eighty DVDs here. I know it's normal for a guy to have a couple of magazines, maybe a video or two, but this was crazy. After realizing his bag was full of unmentionables, the officer handed it back. A look of disgust targeted Nero.

"You're free to go…" she mumbled. Lovely, we had seven minutes before the gate would close… At full speed, we ran down the terminal until we came across gate 7B. Flashing our tickets, we sped onto the plan, dragging a fleeing Nero behind us. Have you ever tried to get a little kid to sit still? Putting Nero in his seat and expecting him to stay amounted to the same thing. He kicked, he struggled, he screamed until he finally clicked his belt. Then all was calm.

As people stared at us, Dean looked them in the face. "What? This man is deathly afraid of flying, so much so that he brought his own gun." Cock Face pulled Dean to his seat, smashing his head against the arm rest and rendering our retarded friend unconscious.

I looked to Nero. "You didn't bring gun, did you?"

"No man," Nero shook his head, "Dean's just being retarded." I sat next to him. Surprisingly, he seemed rather calm just sitting in the plane. Maybe once on, he could handle the flight.

I decided to get his mind off flying with some ground rules concerning this whole trip. "Nero, on this trip, would you try and refrain from doing what you normally do."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't swear so much," I started. How could I make this sound nice? "Treat Patty and her friends nice. Don't attempt to…do what you do with girls."

Nero frowned. "Does this mean I can't introduce any of them to Jim?" I shook my head, but Nero continued anyways. "Just so you know Jim is my penis."

"I got that. Please, for me, don't do anything stupid." If Nero acted half normal, the trip might go without a hitch. The problem was if Nero behaved the way he normally did, the trip would really suck. I didn't want Patty/Patty's friends to think that I hung around with a vulgar bastard even though Nero was a vulgar bastard.

"Damn, you mean I can't woo them with my boat?" What did that even mean? Before I could ask, the plane moved as we taxied onto the runway. Nero tensed up; his eyes locked tighter than a clam. We suddenly gained speed as the plane prepared its ascent. Nero gripped my hand, holding like we were long time lovers. This was really awkward… The plane pulled up; Nero squeezed tighter. We climbed and climbed and climbed until the plane leveled out above the clouds.

I tried to pull my hand away. "Nero, you can let go."

"I think I just peed myself…" he grumbled. Oh, this would be one hell of a long flight.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

I don't want to bore anyone with the flying details. Several hours later, our pilot told us we would be arriving in about fifteen minutes. The sky was black like the inside of a cereal box. Nero spent most of the time shaking in his seat. Cock Face and Dean played a game of Chess. Now, everyone wants to know why Cock Face would want to play chess with Dean. The answer, Dean liked the horsey piece because it goes neigh. See what we put up with every day.

"You've done well today," I said to Nero, "You didn't have any spills or freaks outs besides when we got on the plane."

"I know," Dean added, "I thought you would have freaked when we took off. Did you know most plane accidents happen during take of landing? Actually, landing is the deadliest part of flying." Cock Face and I shot him the nastiest glare ever. Nero's head collided with the back of his seat; his eyes vibrated while the rest of him remained as stone cold as a statue.

"Nero, are you ok?" I asked. At that moment, the plane descended.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Minami Iwasaki-

The sun started to set when we arrived at the airport. By we, I mean Patty, Miyuki, and me. Considering the time the flight was getting in, none of our other friends agreed to meet the guys. Miyuki and I were putting them up for their visit, and Patty thought it was only natural that we came to greet them. Tired from school, I threw on a pair of jeans and a yellow blouse. Miyuki and Patty, with their larger chests, wore filling red blouses with matching skirts. It looked like they did their shopping together though Miyuki shopped at far more expensive places than Patricia.

We sat by the entrance to gate B12; I busily munched away at some peanuts I bought at one of the little shops. Miyuki and Patty talked about this and that; they were rather excited for something I felt wasn't so interesting.

"Patty, you've never said what your cousin is like." I pointed out, remembering that she only called him a loser a few times. A loser could mean a lot of things.

"Let's see," Patty began, "He likes games, manga, and anime. He also has this interesting panty fetish, but overall, he's nice." Ok, that was a tad bit too much information. "I know he really likes those bishojo anime with the cute girls. Yea, he really is a loser."

Miyuki shook her head. "I think your cousin sounds a lot like Konata-san. I just know he'll be a wonderful person." Did she miss the whole panty fetish thing? That comment made me even wearier of letting him stay at my place.

Patty nodded. "He's really nice. Just watch out cause he'll start in on something no one understands and just keep going and going." Sounds a bit like you. I started to see the resemblance between Patty and her cousin. And she had no right to call him a loser.

"Does he like anything else besides games and anime?" I inquired. Everyone had multiple hobbies with the exception of Patty and Konata. …this would mean there would be three of them…

"He's very passionate about the band," Patty said, "He never let me meet the guys until now." At least he worked towards something that wasn't the latest bookstore point or money for the newest limited edition box set. Yea, my fears were probably all for nothing. These guys would be like the guys in class, a little distant but nice. Besides, guys hadn't teased me about my cold stature or flat chest since middle school. We were grown up…right?

At that moment, a scream emitted from inside the gate. Like a mad man, a young man with white hair, wearing a black shirt and jeans, came sprinting out towards us. His screams shattered out ears; my hands quickly covered them. He ran up, screamed right in my face, and then repeated the same process with Patty and Miyuki.

"What is going on?" Patty asked as we watched the mystery boy climb up into a fake decorative tree. Yes, there are fake trees in the airport.

"Someone sure seems lively." Miyuki let out a teehee.

I sighed. "Hopefully, he has nothing to do with our group." Why did I always jinx us? After I said that, three other guys came running out of the gates. One had long blonde hair with a shirt that had something written in English. If I read it right, it said "This shirt is designed to protect you from my sexy chest." Real attractive… The next guy, the one with glasses and shaggy brown hair, ran next to his long haired friend. He looked far more modest with a polo shirt and jeans on. The final guy came out last, carrying multiple bags.

"John!" Patty called to the one with all the carryon bags. He had black hair cut real short. He wore a simple green t and also has jeans. Out of the three guys, he looked the most frantic. Wait, wasn't there five guys? If these were three of them…then that meant that…

"That crazy guy is with them…" I muttered.

The guy with the long haired called after his friend in the tree. "Nero, I'm sorry. See, we landed ok, and no one died."

"Somebody could have though," the one called Nero shouted from his hiding spot, "You tricked me into this, tricked me I say." John pushed right past us, approaching the tree with ease. Nero plucked fake leaves from it, tossing them down at his friend. They did no damage.

"Nero, you need to come down from the tree," he ordered, "You're making scene."

"Dude, seriously calm down," glasses boy commanded.

Nero yelled, "Fuck you. Fuck all three off you. You tortured me on that flight."

"You agreed to it," John said, "Please, come down from the tree. Everything will be ok." By this time, a number of people gathered around to see the ruckus. If we didn't act fast, security was sure to get involved, and we'd never get to go home. Puffing her chest out, Miyuki-san walked towards the tree, standing directly under it. She smiled up at the panicking Nero.

"I know you might be scared about the flight," she said a soothing tone, "but you arrived safely and no one is hurt or injured. Flying is one of the safest ways to travel, so you really don't have much to be afraid of." Nero let out a hiss sounds that reminded me of rodent cornered between a wall and an exterminator. That didn't stop Miyuki from holding out her hand. "Please, come down, and I know you'll feel better." Like animal, Nero sniffed her hand, slowly lowering himself out the tree. Before long he stood next to the slightly shorter Miyuki; she patted his head. "Good job."

"That was awesome," glasses guy said, "How did you do that?"

Miyuki blushed. "I've researched how to calm animals. I took what I learned and applied it here. When panicked, humans share many common instincts with frightened animals."

"That's Miyuki," Patty announced as she joined the group, "She knows about things very few people could care about."

"Oh Patricia-san, you flatter me," Miyuki's face went an even brighter red. Before I knew it, the seven us of were all in one group, standing around despite no introduction.

Patty laughed. "Oh yea, hey John." She threw her arms around her cousin. His face went red like Miyuki before returning the hug. "Allow me to introduce us. The one with the big boobs and pink hair is Miyuki. The serious one with green hair is Minami. You'll be staying at their places this summer."

We bowed, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Sup," Nero said with a snap of his fingers, "Names Nero Seross, lead singer for Slaughtered Infinity." He reached out and kissed Patty's hand. "Thank you for inviting us." Was it me or did it feel like he was faking? Patty cooed as Nero played his pretty boy nature up.

The one with the long hair stepped forward next. "Hi, I'm Dean." He looked to Miyuki. "You are like a goddess of the awesome. Would you do me?" A small gust of wind past me as John smacked his friend in the face with this massive black bag. Before I could blink, Dean was flat on the floor, knocked out by the force of whatever was in that bag.

"It seems you've met the idiots in our group," glasses guy said. He shook my hand. "Hello my name is Randy."

"Cock Face, what are you talking about?" Nero jumped in. Miyuki, Patty, and I froze. Did he just call him what I thought he called him? We were in such a stupor that replying felt pointless. The more I watched these guys, the worse I began to feel.

Randy, or…Oh I can't say it, looked to us. "Please, my name is Randy. Ignore Nero, ok."

"Don't let him fool you," Nero said, "He's Cock Face. Call him that." I think I'll pass on that one.

"We call him it," John added, "He won't mind." From the looks of it, he really did mind. Randy stomped his foot on the ground in a fit of rage. His face puffed up as it looked like tears formed in his eyes.

Finally, Patty's cousin stepped up. "Hi, I'm John Martin. I'm sure you know me cause of Patty."

"She's said very nice things about you," Miyuki assured. Miyuki…you truly are a saint. Only you could lie to someone simply to protect them from the hurtful words of their own flesh and blood. She had my utmost respect.

John laughed. "I'm glad to know. I would really hate if Patty thought I was a loser or something." Heh, reality bites hard.

"I was expecting like a welcoming committee or something," Nero mumbled.

"Our other friends were busy because it's so late and a school night," I explained, "You'll be able to meet them tomorrow." Unexpectedly, Nero threw his arms around me. Our faces smashed together as he slyly grinned. An uncomforting feeling raced through me.

"You seem distant sweetie," he said with a seductive voice, "What ails you?" Luckily, John came to my rescue.

He pulled Nero off in one swoop. "Down boy. You'll have to excuse him; the flight is still messing with his brain…"

"Nah, Nero just wants to introduce them to Jim," Dean said. Who was Jim? Oh, he probably was the fifth member. Odd, it looked like everyone empties the plane, and wouldn't friends exit at the same time?

"I thought your fifth members name was Jake." Patty said.

The group let out a long groan. John informed us of their terrible misfortune. "Due to circumstances bordering the dumb, Jake was unable to come."

"If Jake is the fifth member, who is Jim?" I asked.

Dean quickly informed me. "That's Nero's penis."

**Whack**

John once again provided a homerun hit to Dean's noggin, sending him straight to the floor. That mysterious black bag was quite an impressive weapon. As we applauded John's quick reaction, I couldn't help but feel slightly disgusted with Dean's comment. Patty's cousin and his friends were…well…vulgar and obnoxious. They lacked any redeeming qualities; my biggest fears came true. Oh, my summer seemed so dark and dreary.

"Dean's about as smart as a lead brick," Randy…what am I supposed to call him?

Miyuki helped our downed comrade. "I'm sure Dean is far smarter than you think. You haven't been around something he's good at yet." Miyuki, why are you so kind to everyone? This guy, he doesn't deserve to be comforted after that comment.

"Yea so, where do we pick up our luggage?" Nero posed, "I want to make sure none of my stuff got lost on the flight."

"You guys didn't change flights?" Patty asked. We glanced at Nero, who shook his head. After that spill, I don't think they wanted to experience Nero's attack again. I mean, where would he climb if there wasn't a fake tree around? Like a tour guide, Miyuki led us to the baggage claim room where those rotating machines spit out bag after bag. She must travel enough to know where the place is by heart.

I looked to John, who seemed to be the most level headed of the group. "Do you need help with your bags?"

"I do," Nero shouted, "I got like ten fucking bags." There he went with the language again. Also, ten bags seemed a little much for one trip. I didn't care if he was staying for a month or two; ten bags were a bit much. The conveyer belt rumbled before starting the distribution project. We watched as the slot in the wall spit our bag after bag. John was the first to grab one, a big red suitcase. Dean and Randy grabbed their two bags next followed by John's final bag.

Nero tapped his foot impatiently. "If my bags were lost, someone is going to die."

"I'm sure they'll be out in a minutes," Miyuki assured. Cases containing what looked like drum parts appeared like magic. "See, it takes time to unload the plane." Despite it being an instrument, no one made a move for it.

Randy punched Dean. "Dude, those are your drums."

"I don't think so," Dean said, "They don't have that vibe."

"What, the retarded vibe?" Nero mocked. Patty stopped the first two cases, pulling them off one by one. The next one ran past me and I quickly grabbed it. My arms nearly snapped off as I lifted it off. I didn't know drums were so heavy. Before we knew it, cases of musical instruments flew at us.

Nero pointed to five different cases. "Those are all mine." He looked to me. "Could you grab them?" Wait, these are your instruments, not mine. However, I quickly obeyed, gathering up the five hard and very heavy cases.

Vvvvvvvvv

The guys drew a lottery to see who would be staying at what house. I prayed that John and Randy would be my guests; Nero and Dean scared me too much. Instead of drawing straws or guessing a number 1 through seven, the four guys played rocked paper scissors. Patty volunteered to be referee.

"Ok guys, first one up the temple stairs wins!" she called.

Nero scratched his. "What is that some kind of joke?"

"I get it!" John piped in, "You play rock paper scissors and the winner gets to climb so many stairs up to-"

"John, no gives a shit," Nero instantly cut him off. Tough love… The four guys placed their hands in the center; Patty counted to three, yelling shoot at the very end. They threw their hands in. Randy and Nero attacked with rock, minus ten points of HP from John's scissors. Dean…put it what looked like a hand holding onto a pole.

Patty cocked her head. "What is that, Dean?"

"Monster beats everything," he proudly explained.

"Hey Dean, when you decide to actually grow some balls, you can come join the big kids table," Nero yelled, "We're not three anymore. No dynamite, no monster, and no smoking babe." We stared inquisitively at Nero. For a win all in rock, paper, scissors, monster made sense, but smoking babe…

His eyes shifted. "You guys have never used smoking babe?" We all shook our heads. "I used it all the time in middle school. No one argued cause I'd punch them in the face."

"So you made it up and threatened everyone into accepting it." John mumbled. Nero scratched his chin before nodding. Did it really take that much thought?

"Actually, variations to rock, paper, scissors are quite common throughout the world." Ah yes, a Miyuki knowledge rant went into full force. Whenever a necessary blip of unimportant information was needed, Miyuki delivered with flying colors. "Many objects have been used to as a beat everything move. Also, children have invented variations to the tradition rock, paper, and scissors. I've seen many children use things such as lizard or gun. Also, I-" Miyuki stopped as she realized the four guys stared at her with their mouths hanging open. It look as if they seen a ghost.

Nero asked, "Can I call you Miwiki?"

"I guess…"

Patty smiled. "I told you she was moe incarnate."

In the end, it was decided that John and Nero would be staying at my place while Dean and Randy stayed with Miyuki. Why did my summer already feel over…?

Vvvvvvvv

Post episode- Minami Iwasaki

"Hey Minami?" Patty asked, "You know how Yutaka-chan said that we had two rooms at your house and two at Miyuki-san's. That means if Jake came, we would be one room short."

I sighed. "She must have forgotten there were five guys…" Poor Yutaka, her flash of genius was for naught. Isn't math fun!

"Don't look so down," Patty patted (say that five times fast) my shoulder, "It worked out in the end."

Vvvvvvvvvvvvv

Well, it took me long enough to get the cast together. Reading about John and his friends felt like a completely different book than that of Minami and her friends. Well, everything should come together, and I hope everyone didn't get too bored without a constant supply of Lucky Star Characters.

I'm hoping to introduce Kagami, Tsukasa, Ayano, and Misao in the next chapter. That should make everyone with the exception of the Nanako Kuroi and Sojiro Izumi.

Also, look forward to meeting Misao's older brother/Ayano's boyfriend.

Don't forget to leave a review. See ya


	4. Chapter 4

I decided to watch the Lucky Star OVA again today. I have one question. At the end of the first half, the part with Cherry, did the dog die when she closed her eyes? I showed it to a friend, and he thought the same thing.

Lucky for me, the fanfic isn't canon, so if Cherry kicked the bucket for some reason, it doesn't matter

Chapter 4

With Slaughtered Infinity

Minami Iwasaki-

My alarm sounded around 6am like it always did. Yawning, I pulled the covers off, sulked to the bathroom where I brushed me teeth, and changed out of my pink pajamas. I felt twice as tired as normal; what a strange dream I had? As I slipped my school uniform on, I stared into my deep, drooping eyes. Jeez, I even dreamed I went to bed around two last night, and my body felt like it only got four hours of sleep. My heart sank when I stepped out of my room and realized the massive piles of bags and instruments stacked downstairs. My house was big, and the guys left an even bigger eyesore in the middle of the room.

My dog, Cherry, snuggled right next to the instrument cases. Her white body on the black cases reminded me of the chess board. I stroked her head. "Good morning Cherry." Besides her breathing, she didn't move. "Cherry, it's time to wake up." Still no movement. "Cherry, come on wake up."

"You need to say something about food." A chill ran up my spine, causing me to jump. John laughed as he watched my reaction; his hands quickly found a way to my dog.

"I think I know my dog," I replied, pushing his hand out of the way to pet her.

John grinned. "A challenge I see. Her name is Cherry?" I nodded. "Cherry, I got a big juicy steak for you." She seemed to go into a deeper sleep. John grunted as he realized his initial plan failed. "Cherry, food!" No response. "Cherry, Minami fell down a well, and she needs your help."

"Don't tease my dog…"

"Ah sorry about that," he laughed, "What are you doing up so early?" I pointed to my uniform. That's right; Americans didn't have school in the summer. Our summer break was only two weeks.

I explained, "I need to leave early so I can get to school. I have to take the bus."

"Is the school really that far?" I didn't want to talk about it.

I changed the subject. "Why are you up so early? Aren't you tired?" John belted the giggles away. It started to get annoying as he tried to act to friendly.

"I always wake up around six," he answered, "It's so hard to change sleeping styles after using one for so long." I nodded.

"And then when you do break it," I added, "It's nearly impossible to wake up at the old time."

"Exactly." John went back to petting Cherry. Despite being asleep, I could tell she enjoyed the attention. The only other people she reacted this way to were mom and Yutaka-chan; Cherry rarely interacted with my other friends.

I asked, "Do you have a dog?"

"Don't like animals." He could have fooled me. John and I showered Cherry in more affection than she'd had in a while. Finally, her white head popped up, seeing who her new best friend was. She licked John's hands a couple times before staring at me, almost asking why this strange guy was here.

My mom entered the room with a bowl of food in hand. "Oh, I see Cherry-chan is up. She never wakes up this early." She set the food in front of Cherry. Sniffing her food, our dog returned her head to the floor, dozing off in a second. "Oh my, she never eats when I give her food."

John stood up. "Dogs are a strange bunch. Oh, thank you for letting me and my friend stay at your home."

"It's no problem," my mother replied with a smile, "My daughter never brings home any boys." She left with a laugh, knowing that I went redder than sheet. Thanks for that one mom… However, John didn't seem to mind her joke.

He grinned at me. "Don't worry; I've never brought any girls home either."

"That's because you have a small penis…" I was tired of people scaring me this morning. Nero stood in between us; his ninja skills allowed him to sneak up to us with no problem. With my heart still racing, Nero dropped down and rubbed my dog. I started to notice a pattern here. Nero would insult just about anyone he pleased if it meant a cheap laugh.

"Good morning," I muttered.

John looked less thrilled than I was. "Nero, what did we talk about on the plane?"

"Dude." Nero shot his thumb to the sky. "I understand your strong urge to be a woman. I know it's why you want Patty to help you find your inner lady." My eyes glazed over as I watched John. Please tell me Nero was joking. Seeing my reaction, John frantically shook his head.

"Nero's playing around!" he yelled, "Isn't that right buddy?"

"Sure thing sweet heart." He mumbled back. A dull silence filled the room. Nero busily scratched at Cherry while John and I watched him. Normally, Miyuki came over, and we would head to school together. With her family housing two guys though, I wasn't sure that would happen. As if I was on some form of lucky streak, the doorbell rang. That was probably Miyuki.

I answered it; however, Miyuki wasn't the only one standing at the door. Actually, Patty and the two other band members joined her. For the record, Patty lived quite far away and traveling to Miyuki's house took a couple of minutes.

"Hey there guys," Patty yelled, forcing her way in, "How'd everyone sleep?"

"Just fine," John answered, "I see you brought everyone with you." Dean and Randy were busy looking around my house as though they lived in a place smaller than a cardboard box.

Miyuki explained, "While Dean, Randy, and I were on our way over, we ran into Patty."

"I was on my way to see you," she announced. From her bag, she drew four manga, shoving the volumes in John's face. "These are for you!"

Instead of John taking them, Nero snatched them away. He quickly opened the one up, gazing through the different pages. He bust out into laughter. "See John, what did I tell you?" He flashed the picture from inside the manga. On the page was a girl looking no older than sixteen (or younger if you considered the art). The panel zoomed right in on a pair of panties. "This is what I talking when I said I didn't want to come here."

"Anime and magna is great," Patty grabbed her books back, "Besides, I knew John would love the fan service in this manga."

John chuckled. "Uh, I like real girls more than 2-D ones." Except for me, no one seemed to pay attention.

"Patty, let me take to a strip club sometime," Nero announced, "I'll show you what real guys jack off to." A feeling of embarrassment raced through the entire group with the exception of Nero. He seemed to be the only one capable of talking about this without even breaking a sweat. Lucky for us, Dean seemed to have a tendency to change the topic randomly.

"Oh my God," he yelled, pointing at Cherry. Nero's last words slipped his mind. "You have a big, white dog." He charged up to Cherry, bending his knees to be more at her level. With wide eyes, He placed his hand on her head. "Does she wrestle?"

I shook my head. "She sleeps a lot."

Dean ignored me. "Come doggy. Let's see you have." Cherry yawned again, unfazed by Dean's challenge. This wasn't good enough for Dean; he jumped on her back, shaking around like a man having a seizer. "Fight doggy, fight!"

"Would you not hurt my dog," I pleaded, seeing him use Cherry as a rocking horse.

"Dean, stop humping their dog," Nero kicked him off. Throughout that entire ordeal, Cherry didn't move a muscle. She really was the most relaxed dog on the planet. Sometimes, it was almost scary because I didn't know if she was dead or not.

"As you can tell, Dean loves animals," Randy informed, "Don't you have dog of your own?"

"Yea," Dean replied, "but it's a gay one that my sister picked out. It's really small, and I can belt it across the room with one foot." Oh, that sounded painful. While Dean returned to petting Cherry, John checked his clock. His left eyebrow rose.

He asked, "What time do you guys have to go to school?"

"Oh my," Miyuki frantically yelled as she checked her watch, "I wasn't keeping track of the time. We need to go now if I'm going to get the class notes." I pulled my cell phone out to check the time. It almost dropped out of my hands. If we didn't go now, I would miss my shift at the nurse's office. Patty was the only one who didn't seemed strapped for time.

She said to her cousin, "We'll see you guys later. I'll introduce you to some of my friends after school." We were already at the door as she leisurely followed us. Oh, we were so going to be late.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvv

John Martin-

The day ticked by as we hung out at Minami's house. Her mother was kind enough to make lunch and allowed us almost free run of the house. We spent the day playing cards as Japanese TV is really fucking weird. Cards didn't last long either considering Nero stacked the deck every time. Around ten o clock, we ran out of things to do except see the town and hope something interesting happens.

However, Iwasaki-san approached us with a box wrapped in a napkin. "Could I ask you guys a favor? Minami was running so late that she forgot her lunch, so would you bring it to her?" I nodded my head, accepting this fetch quest. Considering we didn't have anything else to do, we embarked to Ryou High school. When I mean embarked, I mean we got hopelessly lost and Iwaski-san's map was the most god awful thing I've ever looked at. Before we knew it, it was almost eleven, and we weren't even to the bus station yet. By twelve, we discovered the gates of the high school.

Nero looked at us all. "Ok, I refuse to step foot in this school."

"Then why did you come with us?" Cock Face posed.

"Cause I was bored," Nero rebuked, "but it's summer. In summer, Nero doesn't set foot in anything that has the word school, tutor, books, or cafeteria in its name. Got that?" Nero leaned his back up against the gate, looking all cool and stylish.

"A shame," I started, "I bet we could start meeting all of Patty's hot friends too because they all go here. Oh well, you can wait." My blackmail sent Nero into a tailspin. Caught between beautiful girls and his hatred for school, his head nearly exploded.

He yelled, running after us, "Damn you John." The inside of Ryou high reminded me of most Japanese anime schools. In the front, they had a locker to put their shoes, stairs leading to the second floor, and hall ways that went to class and club rooms. Dean became infatuated with the show lockers.

"What are these?" he posed, sniffing it.

"What are you, a dog?" Nero insulted pushing him out of the way, "It's obvious that this is a…locker of some kind." Nero threw the thing open. Either someone hadn't locked it or they didn't have locks in them. Inside was a pair of sneakers. It was a show locker, so what did they expect?

"I think we should leave it alone," I suggested. Nero flipped me the bird while he removed the shoes from their spot. With pink strips on the side, they were girl shoes for sure.

Nero mumbled to himself, "Are they not allow to wear fucking shoes or something…?" As we put them back, a loud bang smashed right next to us. Nero dropped the shoes in fear; they toppled to the floor, scuffing against the tiled ground. The person who nearly plowed into us was a beautiful girl in pig tails. Her purple hair flowed to her lower back. Her hands reached for Nero's neck, just barely missing it.

"What the hell are you doing with my locker?" She demanded.

I stepped forward to explain the situation. However, Nero decided to give one his more interesting and far more vulgar versions of the story. "You see, I was going to take my nut sack and stick in the heel of you shoe. Gonna jiggle it around a little bit." Before Nero could harm our reputation any further, I quickly took my hank and pushed him into the lockers. His face struck against the hard metal, creating a huge bang. This girl's show fell to the ground.

"I'm very sorry about this," I said as I returned her shoe. She took it from me, hording it as if it was money.

"Exactly who are you guys?" she yelled.

"Calm down for a second," Cock Face tried to reason. This chick was anything but calm. Her teeth grinded together as her hands held her hips firmly in place. Honestly, I didn't blame her. I'd be pissed if someone went through my shoe locker than threatened to defile my poor shoes.

Dean tried his cover story, "Hi, I'm selling these fine leather jackets."

"Then where are the jackets?" This gal was not in the mood to play. Realizing he's been caught (though I think a two year old could catch it), Dean thought up his award winning excuse.

"I must have left them in my other pants." Good job Dean, I give that a one out of five.

"I'm going to get a teacher if you don't tell me who you are?"

Nero laughed from his spot on the floor. Surprisingly, he hadn't recovered yet. "Ohhhh, a teacher, I'm shaking, I'm shaking." He pulled himself to his feet. His body shook as he held onto the locker for dear life. I hope the impact against metal didn't leave brain damage or anything. "Listen beautiful, we're an American band."

"An Ameri-" the girl stopped. She gave each of us a quick run look over before face palming. "You wouldn't happen to know a Patricia Martin?"

Dean piped up, "That's your cousin John." No shit Dean…

I guess the best course of action was a formal introduction. "Hi there, I'm John Martin. Patty is my cousin. Do you know her?"

"Sorta," the girl muttered, "She lives with one of my friends…" Oh, this girl knew the Izumi's. If Patty was right, the Izumi family was rather fun loving, but this girl seemed the exact opposite. She felt distant, picky, and realistic. She'd prolly get along with Nero if he didn't act like an ass 24/7.

"Did you hear awesome things about us?" Dean posed.

Our new friend didn't want to chat. "I only heard you were coming, nothing else. Look what are you guys doing here?" I held up the lunch with the napkin.

"I need to deliver this to Minami Iwasaki. She forgot it."

"How noble of you…" Though I kept grinning, the word bitch ran around my mind. Ok, Nero and Dean might have fucked around, but I didn't do anything to deserve being treated poorly. These guys must really affect my reputation…

"Do you know where we can find them," Cock Face asked, "I really don't want to be here all day." Before pig nails could point the way, two other girls came around the bend. Seeing their friend, they approached us; Nero instantly targeted one of them with his eyes. His mouth began drooling, literally. Nero only got like this once, and that was when he saw these waitress's tits.

The one girl with short brown hair and a hang on the right side of her mouth tossed her arms around pig tails. "Hey Hiiragi, who are your friends?"

"Trust me, I don't know them…"

"While then, hi, I'm Misao, Misao Kusakabe," our fang girl replied. Very outgoing, something Nero usually liked in a girl. However, his eyes were not focused on her; they gazed at the delightful figure of Misao's companion. The other girl had long orange hair done up so her forehead appeared larger. With bright eyes, she smiled.

"I'm Ayano Minegishi," she greeted, shaking Nero's hand, "It's very nice to meet you. Hiiragi, you didn't tell us you had foreign friends."

Hiiragi grunted, "I don't. They're related to someone you don't know." Misao leaned on her twin tailed friend, looking slightly missed.

"Jeez Hiiragi, you never introduce us to your friends. What are we chopped liver?"

"It be better if you didn't meet them…" While those two exchanged this interesting conversation, Nero attempted to throw the moves on Ayano. Now, most people might consider Nero's moves to be vulgar, nasty, and over the top. However, when on the hunt, Nero was the perfect gentlemen.

"Your country is gorgeous," he said as he held her hand, "It beats America hands down."

She smiled. "Your Japanese is surprisingly good."

"I learned it just so I could see this beautiful," he replied, "but nothing will compare to what I'm gazing at right now." Ayano's face went bright red. So, Dean, Cock Face, and I stood around waiting for this to end. The lunch in my arm still had yet to be returned to the owner. Poor Minami might not get to eat today.

Lucky for us, Dean was a overbearing as he was dumb. "Guys, we need to get this lunch to Minami. She could starve!"

"Thank you for that Dean," I said, "Would someone be willing to point us in the right direction?" I pointed to Misao and Hiiragi. "You two can argue about you love." My finger swung around to Nero and Ayano. "You two can get to know each other."

"Class is about to start real soon…" Hiiragi returned, "You can give me the lunch, and I'll have Konata deliver it." No… I wanted to see Patty. Of course, I didn't say this in risk of blowing my cover. It would take about five minutes to hand this off and stare at Patty's…bosom .

"We can handle it," I assured, "Right guys?" The rest of the band glared at me. They really didn't want to be here. Hiiragi was also glaring.

She motioned to the hall just right of us. "The first years are down there." We thanked her before speeding off. Nero said his final words to Ayano, who looked unsure of what to do. Cute girl, must have never experienced what it's like to be hit on by a guy. Misao gave us a wave while Hiiragi rolled her eyes.

I turned before they headed up the stairs. "I didn't get your first name Hiiragi."

She shot me a glance; a smile peeked on her face. "Kagami…" She instantly went sour. "I only told you because you know Patty." Then, she was out of site.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

We found Patty and Minami in their respective first year class. Luckily, class hadn't started by the time we found them, but the teacher, a gruffer looking man, prepared to start the lesson. I entered carrying Minami's lunch; the class's eyes focused on us. Being American, we looked nothing like anything they'd seen before.

Patty jumped from her seat. "John, I told you we'd meet up when school was done. You're like those girls from Shuffle!; they won't leave the main character alone." Sorry to bust your bubble Patty, but you were anything but the protagonist of this story.

"Hey, we brought lunch for Minami…" Nero shot back, "So don't be scolding my man here." Taking the napkin wrapped box, he placed it in front of Minami. "You're lunch." Her short green hair hid her green eyes. Brushing it away, she looked up at us.

"Thank you…" she muttered.

With salmon colored hair, the girl in front of her said, "Isn't that great Minami-chan? You were worried about your lunch."

"Thank you," Minami reiterated with more confidence.

"These band members may be sad sacks, but they are useful for something," Patty joked. I held Nero back to prevent him from attacking her. Being called a sad sack was anything but a compliment, joking or not. I sighed as I realized my pretty cousin had it out for us.

The salmon haired girl poked at Minami. "Are these the guys Patty was talking about?"

"Yup, this is my cousin and his band," Patty answered for Minami. He went from right to left. "This is John, Nero, Dean, and Randy."

Nero reminded. "He prefers Cock Face."

"But Randy is appreciated…" Cock Face muttered. Unlike the other time Randy's offensive nickname was given, the salmon hair girl didn't mind. Either she was used to this sort of thing, or she was too dense. Judging from her stature, she was dense.

"I'm Yutaka Kobayakawa," she greeted, "It's nice to meet you." As Nero and I watched this girl, an almost urge to hug her came over us. Actually, it almost felt maternal. Instead of merely watching, Dean decided to give her a big hug, randomly. Yutaka blinked once before realizing that this random guy was hugging. "Um…hi…"

Dean said while rubbing her hair, "It will be ok. Nothing will harm you." Minami and Patty swiftly pulled them off.

"Sorry about that," I apologized, "Dean is special."

"Special Ed if you know what I'm saying," Nero muttered, "Isn't that right Dean."

Dean grumbled. "I'm not stupid. My doctor says I have a slight mental deficiency. It doesn't mean I'm a retard."

"Actually it does…"

As Nero and Dean spouted, Patty glanced around the room. She targeted a girl with long black her, lying on the desk. She looked nearly dead with head turned around.

"That's Hiyroi," she said, "but I think she is sleeping."

The girl moved. "No, I'm awake. I had a deadline last night… I'm beat, dead, KOed."

"Did you draw something cool, Tamura-san," Yutaka asked. The girl named Hiyori turned her head. The group gasped as if we were watching a horror movie. Her face was beyond dead; she was a walking zombie. All the color from her face was gone as her spirit held on by a thread.

She muttered, "Yea, I finished my latest manga. How are you guys doing?"

"Ok," Cock Face answered. He turned to Minami. "Is that girl always this dedicated to school?"

"No," Minami shook her head. "She's dedicated to her drawings, and if she does poorly in school, no more manga club." Geez, her parents seemed harsh. I'd heard of parents taking away TV, games, and sport but never drawing. What happened to refusal to silence the artist?

"Yea," Hiyori muttered on, "my parents really don't get it sometimes. Oh well, I get good grades and go to class. They don't really mind."

Before Yutaka could comment, a loud bang rang through the classroom. The teacher stood in front with his ruler; his eyes looked furious. "You can all continue this conversation after class!" The band, shaking in our boots, bowed and fled the classroom. Looks like we'd be attending school during the summer…

Vvvvvvvvvvvvv

Well, I wasn't able to introduce Tsukasa in this chapter. She'll be in the next one though.

I've started having trouble writing this which never happened with my first version. I started playing Higurashi When They Cry and that seems to take up all my mental energy. It seems I can barely put words on a page without some urge to have John mutilate everyone with a baseball bat.

Looks forward to the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

When you wish upon a star and other unrelated events

John Martin-

With some careful poking, nudging, and threatening from Patty, Yu-chan (as we've been informed to call her) agreed to join us at Minami's house for a rousing game of See What Shit Nero Brought. Yea, poor Yutaka got stuck helping us unpack though I always say the more the merrier. With Patty, Minami, and Yu-chan's help, we began the long process of unpacking instruments and bags. Patty and I started in my room, throwing open my suitcase and tossing things in the many drawers. Unfortunately for Yu-chan, she got stuck helping Nero, which would probably end horribly. Even worse for Minami, she was lugging our crap up and down stairs.

From the other room, I could hear Yutaka. "Nero, where do you want these."

"Put those in the lower drawer."

"How about this?"

"Upper drawer."

"And these."

"How about you fucking figure that out for yourself? I'm a guy; do you think I care?" Poor Yutaka, I hope Nero's patient problem wouldn't scar her innocence. Patty and I did basically the same thing. She threw open my first suitcase and began rummage through my crap. She looked like mole digging in the dirt only this mole's shirt hung open slightly… I couldn't keep my eyes straight.

"Ha, you still wear these!" Patty pulled up a pair of my briefs that I hid deep down in the bowls of my luggage. I wasn't really embarrassed by it; Patty had seen my underwear more than once. I was more pissed she was playing around with it.

I grumbled. "Put those back and do some work for a change!" Crumpling them up into a ball, Patty chucked them at me. The briefs flew open and stuck to my head, covering my left eye. She burst into laughter. Ok, I got it; I looked an idiot. "Why don't you put my shirts somewhere?"

"You're no fun anymore," Patty said with a pout, "What happened to fun loving John with the game systems and anime?"

"He's still around," I replied, "but work always comes first." Patty sighed while she gathered up my plan T-shirts and hung them in the closest. This was awesome! She was like my own personal maid. I bet I could just sit down and have her do all the work. Having a schoolgirl maid…in uniform….damn it's just a little to stimulating at this moment. While I contemplated whether or not it was morally sound to a stiffy at this moment, Patty swung around; her skirt fluttered in the breeze she created.

She asked, "Why didn't you ever introduce me to your friends? They're awesome." She seemed like the only person who thought that. I could tell Minami and Kagami were downright disgusted by them. They had a right to be disgusted.

"They're over the top," I answered, "Unlike your friends, mine are very…unique."

"Unique describers my friends to a key," Patty scolded, "What about Miyuki? Smart, big boobs, glasses, instant moe." Ok fine, Miyuki was the human Wikipedia with glass and a chest to boot. She was unique in a way. "And what about Konata, you'll get along with her." Patty's anime obsessed landowner (daughter of the landowner I guess) seemed interesting too from everything she told me. "Even Yutaka-chan is a walking source of moe. She and Miyuki make like the moe battery."

I shook my head. "Yutaka isn't moe. She's just dense."

"She's moe!" Patty yelled, "Guess who gets sick all the time. Guess who is small and defenseless. She's moe to the max." All right, I'll give Patty the benefit of the doubt. As she ranted, my head merely nodded in unison to her flapping arms.

"How about this?" I posed, "Is Minami or Hiyori moe?" Patty's eyes widen as she cocked her head. As if pondering a homework question, she scratched her chin, tapped her foot, rolled her eyes, and then…fell asleep. I snapped my fingers a couple to times to wake her back up.

Patty said as her eyes opened, "Not as much as Yutaka or Miyuki. But if you tried hard enough, you could prove they're moe."

"Sounds like you have enough information to write a paper."

Patty's thumb shot up. "I have for school." She's got to be kidding me… "We were supposed to write about things that interests us in Japanese culture. The teacher said it was one of the best papers she's ever read, but I still got a D because it had nothing relevant to do with Japan's culture. I then wrote another ten page paper explaining the reason why moe was relevant to Japan." Patty continued on like this for about five more minutes. Half listening, I placed my jeans and shorts inside the middle drawer of the dressers. Everything needs to be nice and neat after all. When I returned to the conversation, Patty finished up. "and Kuroi told me that I needed to stuff it because this anime stuff had nothing to do with historical Japanese culture. I gave up after that…"

"Sounds like fun," I replied after paying attention to about ten percent of the whole conversation. I lifted up a pair of extra shoes I brought. "Could you stick these on the closet floor?" As Patty and I emptied one suitcase, the door bell chimed. My cousin's ears perked up. Like a horse being led to water, she wandered out the door, down the stairs to the main hall. Minami was already opening the door.

A familiar face and two not so familiar faces stood out front. The first girl in the middle was our friend with the pig tails…Kagami was it? I'd find out eventually. The girl to her left looked very similar, twins perhaps. The only difference was this girl's hair was cut real short, and a bow sat in her hair. I won't brag about being good with people, but I could tell that Kagami's look alike was far easier to talk to. A girl with long blue hair stood on her right. She looked relaxed, constantly relaxed. Her eyes, her body, even her feet, never seemed to once move.

Minami bowed. "Hiiragi-san, and Izumi-san, hello. Um…did you need something?"

"I called them!" Patty yelled, "Well, I called Konata; she agreed to help."

"Yea, we were in the area," Konata explained. She held up a bag containing what looked like books. "Bought some new manga."

Kagami grunted. "I swear all you blow your money on is manga and games." Though quick to judge, Kagami looked away from her short friend and shot me a glance. She waved with a smile on her face. Looks like the animosity from earlier was gone. "Hey there…John?"

"Yea, it's John," I replied, stepping past my cousin, "I'm Patricia's cousin. I'm glad to know you don't hate me."

"Hate you?" Kagami said, "No, but you're white haired friend is a bit of an ass."

Minami sighed. "Nero…takes some getting used to. I'm not even quite there yet."

"He's a good guy," I assured. I then remembered that Kagami brought along her clone and the midget. Remembering my Japanese classes (we didn't take them for nothing), I bowed. "Hello, my name is John Martin, I love to read. I would appreciate if we could all be friends."

Konata's eyes lit up. "Ichinose!" Her voice carried throughout the house. Perhaps I was a little off with my greeting… We stood there staring at her, unsure of what happened. Well, Patty got it; she bobbed up and down with a sparkle in her teeth.

"Why do I have a feeling you gave us another anime reference…" Kagami muttered.

"Would you expect any difference?" Konata replied, stepping through into Minami's house. She forcefully shook my hand as thought she was trying to rip it off. "Hey there, I'm Konata Izumi. Patty's said quite a lot about you."

I laughed. "Like what? Let me guess, I'm awesome and sweet."

"No, she said you were a loser…" My heart instantly sank. She…she didn't really mean that did she. I glanced back at Patty, who furiously shook her head. Her entire face was beat red.

Before I could even continue, Kagami's clone stepped forward. She bowed. "Hello, I'm Tsukasa Hiiragi. I'm Kagami's sister."

"So you're not a clone?" I inquired. Tsukasa cocked her head. Seems my comment flew straight over her head.

"You'll quickly learn that Tsukasa gets very little," Kagami explained.

Tsukasa stomped her foot. "Sis, don't say that." Ah yea, the bond between siblings. Lucky for me, I only had my older brother Rick to worry about, and he was off in college. I hated Rick; he was an ass and more so then Nero. Mr. Fancy ass doctor pants continuously tormented my childhood. But he was off at college now, so I never saw him.

"John," Minami asked, pulling me away from my tormented memories, "Are the other guys coming as well?"

"Yea," I replied, "Dean and Cock Face said they'd be over once everyone unpacked." Konata and Tsukasa gave me the oddest stares. I guess the nickname Cock Face really was strange. I quickly explained to them the situation and assured that they could call him Randy.

"Cock Face, huh," Konata said with a smirk, "I think I might just call him that."

Kagami pounded her friends head. "That's' disgusting. Don't even start." While those two started playing with each other, Tsukasa approached me with a bag. It was made of blue cellophane, and on the inside, cookies poked through the wrapping.

"Konata said I'd be meeting you guys, so I brought the cookies I made in home economics." I gratefully took the bag. See, this was what a real introduction should be like. Through there were only four cookies in the bag, I mashed two in my mouth, downing them without a problem. Tsukasa's mouth dropped. "Those were for all four of you…"

"Oh sorry…" I said, "I wasn't thinking."

"You never think John," Patty teased. As we became acquainted, a shrill scream bellowed from the upstairs. It was not Nero that was for sure. Everyone charged up the stairs; Minami led the pack. For the love of God Nero, you better not have done something weird. I will seriously bust some nuts if anything happened to that poor girl. It's bad enough she has to deal with you to begin with. As we neared Nero's room, we noticed he too was running for the entrance.

"What happened?" Patty asked.

Nero shook his head. "I don't know. I was taking a piss and… Oh hello." He waved to the two new girls in our group. Nero Rule Number 1: if there is a girl there you haven't met, greet them cause you can get in their pants that much quicker. "Anyways, I was in the bathroom and then there was a scream, and I don't know what's going on." After his quick explanation, Nero pushed his way past us to Konata and Tsukasa in the back.

"Hi, I'm Nero," he introduced.

"Stop with the formal introductions!" Kagami yelled, "Yutaka might be hurt!" Nero couldn't even get a word in edge wise. Minami busted down the door, and Yutaka sat in the middle of the floor. Everything looked calm, normal except for one thing. Nero's black bag spilt all over the floor; his DVDs spread to the far corners of the room. Yutaka had one in her hand.

Patty was the first to pick one up. "Oh Oh oh, we have a naughty boy here." She held the DVD up like it was the Holy Grail. "Is this your porn John, is it?" Every eye was on me. I had Konata and Patty who shot me mocking thumbs ups. They couldn't care. Minami and Kagami shook their head in disgust; I guess my image in their eyes dropped. Then there was Tsukasa, who like Yutaka, was freaking out in the corner.

"Nah." Nero to the rescue. "That's all mine. I take pride in having the largest lesbian porn collection ever assembled in one basement…at least in Rhode Island."

"That isn't something to take pride in!" Kagami yelled. She tore the DVD out of Patty's hand, sending it flying out the door and over the stair railing. A thump was heard seconds later.

Nero gripped her shoulders. "What the fuck, you bitch! I paid like thirty bucks for that."

"It's disgusting and degrading!" Kagami shot back, "Plus, look at Yutaka." Shit…we completely forgot about her. Minami lunged on her friend, pulling her head away from the DVD mess. Her face vibrated red as foam formed at her mouth. She passed out… Nero burst into laughter as he saw this; the rest of us weren't as amused.

"Yutaka-chan," Minami called as if she was dying, "Please, snap out of it." Yutaka showed no signs of waking up. Once again, Nero to the rescue. For the record, Nero was a master at waking people up. Whether he did it nicely by holding their nose or beating their bellies or meanly by spewing cheese wiz up their nose, he got the job done. Nero's finger gripped Yutaka's nostrils. In seconds, the small girl's eyes flashed open as she gasped for breath.

Konata laughed. "Nice one."

"Thanks," Nero replied, "I take pride in being the best waker upper… at least in Rhode Island."

"You take pride in a lot of things…" Kagami sarcastically muttered.

"Sis…" Tsukasa said. She obviously was the complete one eighty of her sister.

Ignoring us, Minami helped Yutaka to her feet. "Are you sure you can stand?"

"I'm not a little kid," the red head returned. Considering she just passed out from seeing the cover to a porn DVD, Yutaka had a lot of growing up to do. In fact, she still seemed wobbly, and Minami helped her down stairs. We joined down in the main hall; my bags remained unpacked. So much for a day of unpacking.

While Nero gathered up his questionable collection, I sat down with the Hiiragi sisters, who I hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk with. "It's not every day I get to meet twins." Tsukasa laughed like a kid while Kagami's eyes turned to slits.

"You sound like an old man…" she muttered, "It's not that weird."

"I meant nothing perverted by it," I defended, "I've never met a pair of twins before."

Tsukasa smiled. "Me and sis do everything today. It's been that way since we were little kids." Kagami nodded with a sigh. Despite her reaction, she deeply cared for her sister. I could tell cause I hated my brother. Actually, I'd give a lot to have a relationship like that with him. No, I lied. My brother's a dick.

"Tsukasa has always been the baby of the family," Kagami explained, "She's pretty useless."

"Kagami!" Tsukasa yelled, "I'm not useless."

Her sister laughed. "No, you can cook and clean.

"You'll make a great housewife," I joked. Tsukasa's eyes lit up as she thought about being married to someone. I hit some form of happy button with my comment. Like star, her eyes twinkled. However, Kagami was the black hole that devoured those stars. She shoved her sister, snapping her out of lala land.

"A house wife isn't a career…"

"That's not true," I defended, "Many a great woman have proven themselves to the kitchen and around the house." Ok, maybe I was being a tad sexist. What the hell… "My mom went from being a crazy party girl to wife almost overnight. My dad hardly recognized the change, and, now she cooks three square meals a day, does housework, and laundry. When I was younger, she not only did all that and managed to run me to school, take me friends' houses and clubs, and even around town if I wanted something. Never once did she ever bat an eye or complain. She's super woman." Tsukasa applauded my speech. If Patty could write a fucking paper on why anime is a central part of Japanese culture, I could explain the importance and prowess of an American house wife. Hell, my paper would be far more important.

Kagami returned with some snide remark, "Well don't you just have your woman picked out…"

"Yes, but she isn't be good at cooking or housework or anything that involved work," I replied. Patty had always been a tad…lazy. I was amazed she stayed skinny. Throughout our childhood, I never once saw her play a sport or exercise. She always sat on her ass, playing Super Smash Bros with us.

"So you have someone special then?" Kagami posed with a smirk. Shit…if I wasn't careful I could spill the beans right here…in front of Patty. No, I would not be forced to remove my poster, pictures, and desktop wallpaper. They were sacred!

"I think it's great when two people can come together," Tsukasa said, "Have you told her yet?" No… I didn't get a chance to say that though. Nero, who was banging on the grand piano in Minami's family room, overheard us. She slipped into the room, coming up right behind us as though she was sneaky.

He chuckled. "Are you serious? John wouldn't tell her event if the fate of humanity rested on his shoulders. He's gay, I swear." I'll ignore that comment.

"What, are you scared?" Kagami inquired. Yea, it wasn't the actually asking her out part. It was the "we were cousins and that's kinda very creepy." I'd rather watch Patty from a far then be labeled a massive creeper. Fuck… I probably am a massive creeper.

"John's not scared!" If I didn't think my life would get much worse, Patty popped into the conversation. With her hands on her hips, she tossed her arms around me. God, this was so stimulating… "Come on John, ask your cousin for anything, and I'll hook you up!" If I prayed hard enough, I wonder if God would strike me down with a lightning bolt or something. Maybe he could hit me with an exploding cow, so I wouldn't feel any pain. Wait, an exploding cow might hurt if the blast doesn't fully tear the flesh from my bones.

"I think I'll just hang around and be good," I replied, "Thanks for the offer…"

Kagami rolled her eyes. "I thought you American guys were more aggressive."

I sighed. "That's Nero's department." My friend proudly nodded.

"I'd fuck pretty much any chick above a seven," he replied. Thank you Nero for that rousing comment. I'm sure everyone just wants a piece of you now. I suddenly regretted this whole trip.

"I'm amazed you can talk to your mom with that mouth…" Kagami grunted. And the fighting ensued.

Vvvvvvvv

Minami Iwasaki-

I didn't mind having some friends over but the whole lot was rather irritating. I had Hiiragi-san and Nero fighting in the one room, John and Tsukasa trying to break them up, and Patty egging it on. Luckily, Yutaka hadn't quite recovered from her adventure. Konata was busily flipping through a manga Patty gave her. She hardly made a peep.

"You don't need to sit around me, Minami-chan," Yutaka said, "I'm fine, really."

"Are you sure?" I asked, "You couldn't stand before. Do you want something to drink?" Konata laughed. She gave me a smirk and a wave. What was that supposed to mean? I had this weird feeling coming from my Hiyori, Patty, and Konata; they always gave me weird glance when Yutaka was around.

Yutaka smiled. "No, I'm ok."

"Yu-chan, can really take beating," Konata informed. Was she crazy? The same girl who would faint after being hit with a dodge ball, the same girl who would need to go to the nurses on a regular basis, the same girl who misses school more than anyone else. Seeing my expression, Konata went on, "Yea, she fell down the stairs two days ago when we were at a mall. Like twenty guys ran up to her."

"They were very nice," Yutaka added. Perhaps her innocence was something that made her so appealing. I sighed, knowing that Konata considered this moe or whatever they called it. Actually, I was thinking the same thing. I started picturing Yutaka with one of those guys; they were handsome with flowing hair and riding a white horse. He tore through a castle, slaughtering the evil black knight along the way. Then when he saved the princess, they shared a passionate kiss.

Konata grinned. "Jealous?"

"Minami-chan, your face has gone blank like Tamura-chan's."

I shook my head frantically. "I'm not jealous at all." Konata laughed even harder. No…you just completely mistook what I said.

"Don't worry Minami," my red haired friend assured, "I'm sure if you fall down, someone will come and help you." Not you too… I wasn't jealous for the perverted reasons Konata said or the innocent reason Yutaka gave. I was rather plan…guys never really liked me. Yutaka's so small and adorable that any guy would be line up to meet her.

Just when I didn't want to see another boy, the doorbell rang. Randy and Dean were at the door when I answered. Tsukasa and Konata quickly introduced themselves, and we were one big happy family. Well, Nero and Kagami argued like siblings; it was rather tiresome.

"Miyuki-san couldn't come?" Konata posed.

"Nah," Randy replied, "She had to go to the dentist, so she told us to go ahead."

Tsukasa shivered. "Poor Yuki-chan, she hates the dentist." Miyuki and Tsukasa went off about the dentist quite a bit. I always liked mine; he was nice and gave me a lollipop when I was younger. They talked as if the dentist was some evil maniac with drills and weapons. Well, I always took good care of my teeth.

Konata looked to Nero. "I got a question. Do guys like the dentist more than girls?"

"I don't know," Nero replied, "Why?"

"Well, they say a drill is sorta like a guy's dick."

Kagami yelled. "Don't just say it like that. It's embarrassing." Have you heard the guys around us talk? They seem completely fine with every vulgar word in the dictionary; they won't complain. However, Tsukasa hadn't gotten used to the direction most conversations went. She stared at her sister, asking what was going on.

It didn't help that Nero was more than willing to add his comment. "When you put it that way, I guess you could say guys like it more. I've never needed a tooth filled, but the drill is like my cock."

"I'd say it's more like a submarine." Dean threw in.

"Why?" Tsukasa posed with a questioning and shocked look.

"Cause its long, hard, and full of semen." The room went quite. Nero shot Dean the finger, mouthing fag as if Dean spoke some horrible words. I wanted the conversation to change.

"Hey, I brought all the instruments in," I informed, "We haven't heard you guys play ever so could you give us a show?" The group glanced at each other before sighing. That was right; they needed a lead guitarist. However, Nero moved to the piano, throwing open the cover and tapping a few of the keys. Earlier, he just bashed on them for fun, but he played a sweet tune.

Randy said, "We could do a short number on that. Dean, you in?"

Dean nodded. "Oh yea guys." They gathered around the piano. We leaned in impatiently, awaiting a song to fill our ears. John sat with Patty and Yutaka; a grin was on his face. The guys began discussing what song they would perform.

Kagami looked over at John. "Don't you play?"

"No" he replied, "I don't have any musical talent. I can't even keep a beat. I'm just the manager."

"Then how did you know these guys were even good?" she posed. John smacked his stomach a couple of times. Considering what I'd seen the in the last day, his answer wouldn't shock me.

"I went with my gut. If my mom taught me anything, it was your gut doesn't lie." It sounded like the typical fairytale. Now, it was time to determine if the fairytale was real or some warped vision that John dreamed up one night. Nero clapped his hands, garner our attention.

As his fingers tapped on the keyboard he began his solo with nothing but the piano to accompany. "I cry for you, now cry for me." As the song continued, the other two joined in; Randy's voice rang higher than most girls. He nailed every falsetto to near perfection. Dean sang bass, not doing a shabby job himself. The three men played on; our eyes glaze over. They were good…no…really good. My fingers tingled. The feeling of playing the piano came back to me. The music jived through the air, wrapping its arm arms around each of us. This band with the bad manners, obnoxious name, and over the top personality changed completely. They were graceful, powerful, and loving. A passion beyond any I'd seen before oozed from their body. My eyes widened; my finger mimicked the notes Nero played. My mouth went dry; I wanted to play, no, I needed to play with these guys. A sudden burst of energy shot through me. A song that lasted a bit over two minutes ended with applause. I was the only one who didn't clap. Awe overtook me.

"That was great!" Tsukasa congratulated, "I've never met a real band before." Nero played a quick song on the keyboard.

His finger shot towards her. "Thanks, doll face!"

"I guess going with your gut worked!" Patty high fived her cousin. "What song was that?'

Randy answer, "One from a musical believe it or not. Actually, it's the only one we really know for just piano." Nero began playing the notes again, and though there was no singing this time, I heard the words in my head. Congratulations and compliments circled in our group. Even Kagami had to agree.

"Who would have thought you guy's could actually do something?" She insulted/commented.

Nero didn't take well to this. Taking his left hand, he pretended to cup something. "Hey Kagami, these are my balls." His right hand pretended to grip a cylinder of some time. "This is my shaft." Using his head, he motioned to his right hand. "And this is your hand." He shook his right hand up and down, acting like he was…do I even need to say. Finally at the end, he produced a fake geyser along with "spoosh" sound effect.

Tsukasa cut in before another fight could start. "Kona-chan said you guys were here to participate in the Concert."

"That's right," John replied, "Well, we're out of luck without a guitarist."

"If this was Haruhi," Konata began, "You could get Nagato to memorize all the song in three minutes." With the exception of John, the three band member stared at her blankly. Nero stood up in anger.

"Ok," he announced, "If someone's going to mention an anime, manga, Jap movie, or anything pertaining to this country, I would appreciate a warning, so I know when to stop giving a fuck!"

Yutaka ignored Nero. "So you guys can't audition without another member?" John nodded sadly. The entire grouped looked down; Nero banged on the keys. I looked at my hands, which had once been callused, and the upstairs, where my guitar waited. People told me I was to quiet and never stood out. I liked it that way; I was shy and nervous around most. Seeing the pained eyes of my friends, of Patty's cousin, and of the band, I felt obligated to do something. I rose from my seat. Everyone stared.

"Minami-chan, where are you going?" Patty asked as I ran up the stairs. I said nothing, plowing into my room. The tore open the closest, pushed back the clothes, and there he was. Encased in a sacred black case, my guitar waited for years to be loved again. My fists clenched; the calluses seemed to return. My hands touched the sleek case, opening the locks with one smooth motion. In that case was an old friend.

I headed downstairs, holding the guitar like a child. Everyone was worried when I returned; they planned a search party to see what was up. When I returned with my instrument, all eyes shot to me. Nero's mouth dropped as I held the guitar up like a sword. Maybe this was a mistake? Did they even want me?

"You gotta be kidding!" Nero muttered.

Vvvvvvvvvvvv

Props to anyone who got my Clannad reference above. Also, anyone who got what song the guys sang gets extra credit. It's "Cry for Me" from the musical Jersey Boys. I needed them to perform something and I was listening to it, so it sort of worked.

I'm sure some of you have started to notice little homage's to music and bands littered throughout my book. You'll probably find the most from The Beatles and the Four Seasons considering I know the most about them. However, I do have a few other jokes in there that pertain to other groups. If you can pick some out, I'll mention your names in the next chapter. I'll give you a head start. In chapter one, John says the band went under the persona Robert E. Lee and the Rebels and they dressed in Confederate Uniforms from the American Civil War. This is a joke based on a 60s group known as Paul Revere and the Raiders, who dressed in colonial uniforms.

See you in chapter 6.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry about the late release for this chapter. Stuff keeps coming up and I'm having a tough time finding the time to write this thing.

Chapter 6

If Minami is born to run, then John is destined to fail

Minami Iwasaki-

Nero's initial moment sent a chill down my spine. From his look, he didn't think I could play. Actually, he didn't think I could hold the guitar. Everyone else was equally surprised. Yutaka's eyes grew larger than melons; she was the most shocked. Hey, just because I do a lot of refined things like Miyuki-san, doesn't mean I can't have one bad girl tendency… Ok fine, I wasn't some crazy girl with the ability to rock out load. I hated loud music, and I could tell these guys liked it loud.

"Yes," Dean cheered, "My plan worked. I knew we would fine someone who could play. Everyone tell me that you love me!"

"Fuck you, Dean" Nero scolded. He directed his attention to me. "You can play?"

I nodded. "I haven't picked it up in a while, but I used to play all the time. My fingers are still callused from when I stopped." I showed them my hands. Though the skin had smoothed out over the years, some spots were rather rough. Nero reached out and shook my hand; his palms felt every which way.

"Having callused fingers doesn't mean shit," he muttered.

"Wow, Minami-chan," Yutaka jumped in, staring deeply at the instrument, "I didn't know you played."

"I said I hadn't played in a while," I reminded. Having her comment like that made me smile. At least someone seemed to care that I took this old thing out. Patty threw her arms around me, picking at my guitar strings with her free hand. Her chest pushed up against mine. Yea, this was kind of insulting…

She grinned. "Wow Minami, you have you own Ho-kago Tea Time!" What did that even mean?

"How long have you played?" Tsukasa posed.

"About six years, well, I stopped in ninth grade."

John smiled. "Can we hear you play something? I'm sure if we hear you, Nero can decide to let you join the group." Nero rolled his eyes. I became quite familiar with his eye rolls. They meant to piss off or else.

"Just because she's played for six years doesn't mean shit!" he shot, "I know a guy who played all his life, and he makes Dragon Force look like they have skill."

"I love Dragon Force," Dean piped in, "Don't insult them."

Nero shot his friend the finger. "And this is why you are not in control of anything dealing with the band." Like lightning, Nero swiped the guitar from me. He plucked at a few of the strings. The thing had been in storage for so long it could have been out of tune. He cocked his head back and forth, admiring the expensive instrument.

"Why don't you give her a chance?" Kagami posed, "Will you lose something?"

"Nero's always taken new members seriously," Randy explained, "When I joined, he threatened to set my instrument on fire if I was faking my playing ability. Lucky for me, I wasn't."

"So if he doesn't like her, you don't have to use her…" Kagami muttered.

Patty added to my defense. "Wouldn't John get final say? He is the manager." Thank you so much Patty. I always considered you to be overly obsessed with anime and care for nothing more. It turns out you do have a heart.

"Kagami, you don't get it," Konata started. Why is she fighting against us? "It's about passion. Nero has passion, and I don't mean basic passion that some people have over things. I mean full force ready to kill passion. If Nero could, he would summon forth judging powers, and when Minami played, he would yell "Objection" at the top of his lungs." Don't write me off so early. Yutaka's cousin cut into me with her words. People should take John's advice and let me at least play one song.

"I don't know what the fuck you just said, but I like it," Nero commented. He placed hands on my shoulders. Our eyes met for the first time. I don't know why, but he seemed horribly cruel. "Look Minami, I think it's great that you want to help, but I honestly can't see you fitting in with us. We're loud and stupid; you're nice and…lacking in the chest region."

John stepped forward. "That shouldn't be a reason not to let her try out!" Several of the other girls and Dean voiced their agreement. If Konata was right, flat chested girls had a place in society to. Yutaka jumped to her feet, glaring at Nero. She placed her face right up to his despite her being a head shorter.

"Minami-chan will be the best. You gotta let her try." Yutaka was scary when she was got angry. In the year I've known her, I never saw her get mad at anyone. If anyone got mad, it was Patty, who threw fits anytime someone said something not to her liking. Yutaka's unexpected boost of confidence threw Nero for a loop. He burst out into laughter.

"Come on dude," John said, silencing him, "We have nothing to lose by letting her play a few notes. Jake isn't here; don't be stingy!" Nero pushed his friend away. From the group of instruments, he pulled out an electric guitar.

He tossed it to Randy. "Set up the amp."

"Ooh, this is exciting," Patty cheered, "Who will win, the forces of good or the forces of evil."

Nero shouted, "Don't make me the fucking forces of evil." While Nero and Randy situated everything, Dean sat me down on a nearby chair. His long blonde hair swayed along my guitar; his eyes kept following my fingers.

"Are you nervous?" he asked. I nodded my head. I figured everyone would jump up and cheer when I brought the old guitar down. Instead, They forced me into a war with nothing but a pop gun and a box of doughnuts. Dean patted my head. "It's ok. Nero's really desperate so even if you suck dick; he'll prolly let you join."

"Hey Dean!" Nero yelled, overhearing his friend, "Why don't you go fuck off before I shove something so hard up your ass that you'll be shitting metal for a week?" My fingers twitched as Dean fled back to his original seat. It was do or die…

Vvvvvvv

John Martin-

Minami's revelation threw me for a loop, but I wasn't overly freaked out or shocked. I knew so little about the girl that anything seemed physically possible when it came down to it. I wished Nero wasn't such a hard ass about the whole issue. Konata was right; Nero held a special passion for the group. However, that special passion was really fucking with our dynamic. We were down a member. I didn't think we could complain considering what we were just offered.

I turned to Yutaka. "You said you had no idea that she played guitar?"

"Um…yea," Yutaka replied, "Minami always played piano, so I thought she liked classical kind of instruments." I then looked to Kagami. Out of everyone, she could give me the most reliable information.

She held her hands up defensively. "Don't look at me… I haven't known her that long nor do I hang out with her that much." Konata shrugged when I targeted her. If Kagami didn't know, Tsukasa probably didn't know either. Patty…she would have mentioned something when we explained our original problem. Then again, she was the type to reply with "You didn't ask." Out of the entire group, not a one knew Minami played guitar. Great friendship going on here…

"What do you think Cock Face?" I posed.

"Why not?" Good, we shared similar tastes. "It's not like we have much of a choice."

"Guys, we still got a while before the big show," Nero reminded, "I mean, we can keep looking around."

Minami spoke up for once. "What problem do you have with me?" She sounded meek, which wasn't a good thing around Nero. He would devour her if she didn't stand up tall and strong. That was Nero's specialty, making those who suck feel like they suck more.

"Call it my Nero's intuition," my white haired friend began, "You look nothing like a rocker. You sound nothing like a rocker. You aren't a rocker. You're a little girl, with no boobs, and no personality. To be honest, most guys won't give a fuck about personality, but boobs, they care about a lot." Ok Nero, she's going to cry. Yutaka jumped into the fray. Her cheeks puffed up as she confronted Nero for a second time.

"You don't know anything about Minami-chan!" she yelled, "I bet she can rock harder than you."

Nero laughed. "First off, nothing is harder than the Nero. Second, I'll shit bricks if this girl can even play a note." A guitar note rocked through the air. Nero turned to see if Dean or Cock Face were messing with him. There instruments were still in storage; Minami held her fingers firmly against her guitar. She played it.

"Looks like you have a bet to pay up on," Konata joked.

"Shut up, you can teach a monkey to play a note," Nero shot, "You can teach a monkey to play an entire song."

"Then why don't you just get a monkey…" Kagami replied. Nero stomped his foot in an attempt to intimidate. Yea, it worked about as much as intimidating a five year old with a teddy bear. Seeing Nero's constant reluctance, Minami plucked away at her guitar strings. I wasn't quite sure if she hit the notes properly, but Cock Face nodded his head in satisfaction. Nero's eyes even widened. Going with my gut, I'd say she's got still.

Patty said, "Wow Minami, I never knew you were so good."

"Thank you…" Minami meekly replied, "I'm not that good."

Nero stepped forward. "No, you're not good." Everyone's eyes went to him. From what I heard and that response, she was good. Minami's eyes turned to slits; those were fighting eyes. She played a few more notes, creating a mini tune. Nero shook his head in dissatisfaction.

"What the hell!" Kagami yelled, "What is your problem against her?"

"Oh Kagami." Nero stuffed his hand in his pocket. "I think I got something for you in here. Let us see…oh here it is." He whipped his hand out; a giant middle finger smacked Kagami right in the face. Minami scowled as she realized Nero wasn't letting his guard down. Her melody turned into a song. Dean tapped his foot to the beat. Considering he was the drummer, he already created a suitable beat. What am I saying? This was Dean; he probably danced to the sound of elevator music in his head.

"Minami-chan, you're really good?" Yutaka asked.

"Would everyone stop praising her!" Nero screamed. Minami ignored both of them. She continued strumming, and Nero kept shaking his head. He started laughing as he saw her dedication.

He asked, "What do you think of yourself? How do you feel when you hold that guitar?"

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Minami Iwasaki-

Nero posed a very interesting question. How did I feel about this thing? I remembered loving the lessons and the teacher, but the boys always made fun of me. Then again, they were stupid little boys; what did they know about stuff like guitar or me? Sure, my fingers got rock hard and guys like girls with softer hands. Yea, maybe my boobs weren't as big as they should be. When I held this guitar, I felt powerful for the few minutes that I played. If the world came at me, I could take them on. Nero threw me some nasty looks; I wanted to bash his brains out with the instrument. How dare he laugh and mock me? The other guys thought I was great, so what made him so high and mighty that he needed to insult me? My hand shook as it began playing on its own. Note after note flew through the air, birthing my own little melody. This one surpassed all the other's I played. If he didn't like this one, he was fully out to get me, and there was no pleasing him. The faces of my friends sparkled like the stars. This was my all. My fingers fluttered along the fret. My fingers ached as I reached an unimaginable speed. If blood wasn't running down my hand, I was a god send.

I finished; everyone went speechless. Nero's eyes were wide, and a smile stuck to his face. It was the look of victory… He let out a long chuckle. "That was it. Jesus, you suck." I…suck? I let out my heart with that play. Dean and Randy nodded their heads in approval. John was impressed. Yutaka bobbed up and down in pure excitement. Patty looked ready to scream with joy. Kagami and Tsukasa glanced at each other in shock. Konata was…well indifferent to most of it. She shot her thumbs up.

Nero wasn't finished. "I don't know what you guys are saying. Minami has no skill. My penis could play better, and he doesn't have fingers."

"Fuck you!" I yelled. My hand shot to my mouth. What did I just say? Oh my God, what just happened? I seriously said that…and it felt good. Much like with my playing, everyone was taken aback. I thought Yutaka might faint. Ok, calm down Minami. This was just a dream. I never said anything of the sort.

"What did you just say?" Nero inquired. I bit my lip. He knew what I said, but I sure didn't want to repeat it. This was my house; my mother would kill me if she heard such language coming from my mouth. My eyes met with John; he gave me a reassuring wink.

He pushed Nero. "She said to fuck off."

"I know that," he replied, "I want to hear her say it."

"Don't do that!" Kagami commanded. Nero flicked another finger at her. All eyes were on me. What was I supposed to say? The only person I could turn to was Yutaka. She was my best friend; she should be able to help me here. With big eyes, her chin touched her color bone; she reminded me of a hurt puppy. Time seemed to stop; it was just the two of us. Yutaka looked up at me, and with a smile, she smiled and gave the word.

I looked Nero right in the eye; time resumed. "I said fuck you. I'm a fine player. What do you know? Who made you the God of rock?"

"Holy shit," Nero muttered, "Now that's what I'm talking about!" Everyone cocked their head. "I was testing you. You needed more confidence, so thought I'd insult you some and see what happens." There was a long pause as everyone slowly sucked the air out of the room. Nero glanced around to look for approval. We gave him done.

John smacked the back of his head. "You bloody liar!"

Vvvvvvvvv

John Martin-

Minami busily hung up the shirt I asked her too. After my successful attempts to assure her spot in the band, she acted internally gratefully. Ok, I thought and acted like she was eternally gratefully but that's complete shit. Come on, who wouldn't love the opportunity for a sweet, high school girl to help them unpack. Don't get me wrong, my heart still belongs to Patty. I was using this as a sort of test to my own seductive skills. That was what Nero told me to do anyway. Actually, I probably shouldn't have asked his opinion, but he was the only one offering any.

Downstairs, a slightly more interesting turn of events was taking place. Konata, Yutaka, Kagami, and her sister decided to shove off, leaving us to attend to our luggage. Dean and Cock Face lounged around the great room while the TV kept their mind occupied. Like a true gentlemen, Nero decided to see them off, which meant he either wanted something or was trying to get a peek up their skirts before they left. I went with the later of the two.

"You gals have a safe trip home," Nero said as he opened the door for them.

"Wow, you're the last person I expected to hold the door for us," Kagami commented. Nero's eyes rolled with pleasure almost like he expected the challenge. He and Kagami hadn't stopped all night when it came to the bantering.

"Well, I do have a heart," Nero replied, "Mine might not be as a cold and bitchy as yours is, but I do try." He waved to Tsukasa as she left. Instead of following her sister like a good girl, Kagami grunted, ready to punch Nero right between the eyes. The only thing that stopped her was a group of guys that decided to form at the edge of the property. Her eyes lowered before she slammed the door on her sister. Tsukasa was locked out and Nero suffered a near concussion from the incoming door. I sprinted out after hearing the commotion; Minami was close on my tail.

She looked at me. "I wonder what was going on." Don't ask me. Like I have any idea what would cause such a reaction unless Nero said something really stupid, which was a possibility.

After seeing his life flash before his eyes, Nero yelled. "What the fuck! You seriously almost killed me." Perhaps Murder was Kagami's forte. I chuckled at the thought. Kagami would make a pretty cute axe murderer.

"Those guys don't know I'm here…" she stuttered. Thunderous pound came from the door. "Don't open it!"

Nero didn't listen. As the door swung open, Tsukasa came sprinting in. The total number of guys beyond Minami's fence grew to a big ten. I'd say about five had cameras.

"You don't have to worry about them," Konata assured, "They're our fan club." She grinned at the world. I recalled many animes where females would procure a fan club of nameless guys, who served to act as an antagonist to the main characters. I guess this was the opposite.

Yutaka cocked her head. "What do you mean by fan club, Onee-chan?"

"They're some Yuri fan boys who witnessed me grope Kagami at some of the school festivals. They're all into it now."

Of course, Nero was the first to comment. "That's awesome." Yea, that was pretty awesome. I wished I was there. Hell, I'd probably end up in the fan club.

"It's not awesome!" Kagami slapped her friend, "They creep around and it's really weird."

"It's not weird, it's natural," Konata reminded. She looked to Nero. "After all, guys love that sort of stuff." She recalled the porn incident, lovely… That was one moment I wanted to see dashed from our memories

Nero nodded. "She's right. If I could have sex with a lesbian, I would in a heartbeat." He patted Kagami on the shoulder. "You should go for it." With evil eyes, she brushed him.

"Go to hell…" Taking the panicked Tsukasa by the hand, she stormed out the door, ignoring everyone one else in fear of saying something stupid. Konata followed with her chest puffed out; Yutaka bowed, thanking us for the great time. Much like her cousin, she vanished in a flash. Left alone with Nero, I let out a long sigh. This had been one hell of a long day…

"Dude, you think Konata's," Nero asked with a few hand gestures.

I shrugged. "I think she's teasing." Just to make sure, I pushed the window curtains to the side. Why did the sight not surprise me? Kagami fled from her obnoxiously perverted friend, who had tried something. Yutaka and Tsukasa tried to keep the pace, but a horde of men trampled them into the ground. The feeling of "this is going to be a long summer" ticked around and around in my mind.

Patty appeared out of nowhere not long after that. Like an illusionist, she flashed in, standing firmly next to me. I went flying into the air when I saw the locks of her hair fluttering near my face. My heart thumped around in my chest. She could at least warn me for the love of God.

"Where have you been?" I posed.

"Bathroom." And that was all she said before heading home.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

The next morning, after Minami left for school, Dean called for a meeting in my room. He acted unusually pump though I never paid too much attention to Dean's actions as they revolved around the nonsensical. She said he had something good to give us, and I prayed it was better than the surprise birthday he planned for Nero. I really didn't want another transvestite stripper to jump out at me. By nine in the morning, he gathered around the bed to discuss the secrets Dean brought.

"Ok guys," he started, placing his hand on his chests like a Soviet general, "I have prepared for us something that will blow your mind. This will make you shit bricks. This will cause an aneurism. This will cause the earth to tremble. This will-"

Luckily, Cock Face cut him off. "It's not another transvestite stripper?"

"If it is, I will kill you Dean," Nero shot, "I have whip marks from that still, and if I have to endure it all again, I will hire an assassin to rip your brains out. I will pay someone to rape you. I will set you on fire. I will feed you to a shark." Though Nero mocking Dean's speech was rather comical, I ended it there. I partially wanted to see what he got us. I better be cool, or I'd join Nero in setting Dean on fire.

"All right Dean, what did you get us?"

Calmly, our less than smart friend continued. "You will be glad to know that it is not a transvestite stripper." He reached into his pockets. The tension mounted…not really. He drew out four small plastic cards. He handed one to each of us; they contained our pictures. "I present to you, fake IDs."

"Dude," Nero said, "This is great. Maybe you're not as dumb as I thought. Congratulations Dean, I upgraded you from fucktard to just plain retarded."

"I am honored," Dean replied. The structure of the ID was solid. He constructed it from good quality plastic and the pictures looked real…for American Licenses. As I slowly studied it, I thought popped into my mind. Does Japan even accept American licenses? I learned from a class that some countries make you apply for their license. If I recalled right, a US licenses was useless in Japan.

Cock Face voiced the other major problem. "Dean, can I ask something?"

"Sure."

"Why is my name General Tao?" Nero and I quickly looked at our names. My heart sank as I realized John Martin wasn't written there. Instead, Dean opted to give us all Asian names. I could knick pick at all the problems in doing that, but I'll save it to only a few.

Dean went into explanation mode. "I got a story for you. You were in the army since you were twenty two, and you're the youngest general in the history of forever. You were even younger than Hitler."

"First, Tojo was the general for the Japanese in World War II," I pointed out, "Second, Hitler wasn't young when he came to power." I just had to start. Who wouldn't want to complain when everything was so blatantly dumb? I was being nice about it. Nero, with his evil grin, prepared for the field day of insults.

However, Cock Face needed to finish his complaints. "Dean, it says I'm twenty one years old. That means I've been in the military since I was a fetus…"

"I also believe Japan doesn't really have a military…" I added. There were three strikes for Dean, and we hadn't even gotten to Nero's or my license. I sought to wreck my friend emotionally for this level of bull shit.

Now, it was Nero's turn. "Dean, I just demoted you. You've gone from retard to what the fuck…" He handed his license to me. Though everything else checked out for American licenses, the name still presented a major problem. Nero became Chong Ching Chu.

Dean smiled at his…accomplishments. "Isn't that a pretty good Asian name?"

"It sounds more Chinese than Japanese," Cock Face muttered.

Nero slapped him up the side of the head. "It doesn't sound like anything. This is bull shit. What do you think I'm going to do with a name like this?"

"I was thinking strip clubs and lap dances." We ignored him.

"What name does have on it?" Cock Face asked. Speaking of which, I hadn't looked at it. Much like the other IDs, everything was beautifully done. The name was good too if I lived in the 1600s.

I laughed. "It says Miyamoto Musashi."

"I read about him. He's a famous samurai," Dean assured. The very fact that Dean read something was impressive.

"Yea, the problem is everyone will recognize that name!" Nero yelled, "Are you this fucking retarded?"

I asked, "What name did you give yourself?"

"Jet Li." Lovely, another Chinese name made its way in. We'd be arrested before the rest of us could show our IDs. Taking center stage, Nero gathered up all the IDs. Dean panicked and began chasing after him. From below, I heard a small fight in what sounded like the great room, the dining, room and then the kitchen.

Dean let out a shriek after that. "Why did you cut up the IDs? I paid good money for those." Cock Face and I merely sighed.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Minami Iwasaki

Feeling satisfied with myself from yesterday's event, I sat proudly in my seat the next day. I, Minami Iwasaki, broke out of my shell for once in my life. That's an accomplishment worth noting. My ego expanded even more as Yutaka sang my praises and told Tamura-chan all about my exploits. I let on a small smile, wanting everyone to know that despite my outward appearance, I was in a good mood.

However, my pride was doused with water when the front door to our classroom slid open, revealing a blonde girl with slightly tanned skin. She was slim and pretty; her hips rocked as she stepped past the other first years. This girl was no first year; she was a second and one of Tamura's close friends. With striking yellow eyes, she gave us a wink, ignored the staring boys, and sat on Tamura's desk. Her legs were kicked open enough that I saw a flash of pink.

"Ko-chan-sempia," Tamura began. Her face went white as she shuffled through pages in her note book. "I don't quite have the stuff done yet, but I'm sure I can show you what I do have. Oh, where is it?" She began tearing books, pens, and papers from her bag. They scattered all over the floor, creating a snowfall of drawing supplies.

Ko Yasaka was the club leader for the Animation Research Society aka the Anime Club. Unlike Izumi-san or Patty-chan, she kept her cool and enjoyed chilling more than anything else. I only met her twice before this and that was with Tamura-chan. She rarely came to visit our class either. My eyes watched her left hand as she flipped a poker chip in and out of her fingers. She was girl who wasn't afraid to bet it all at once. The more you gamble, the bigger you win.

"Hiyori," she said, picking up a few of the papers, "Calm down, there's no need to freak out. I'm not here for that." Tamura-chan fell face first on her desk; Yasaka-sans words zapped the energy right out of her. Like a Medusa, she turned me to stone as her eyes locked onto me. The sniper readied her fire.

Bang!

She grinned. "Hiyorin tells me you got something interesting going on at your house?" I had no urge to let anyone know about the group of guys staying at my place. Even from yesterday, my classmates figured we were only friends. Letting anyone know that two guys were crashing at my place would end with dire consequences.

"What if I am?" Smirking at my reply, she presented two six sided dice. Ko flicked her wrists; they toppled on the desk. Bouncing about madly, the numbers of the dice looked like the black streaks. They came up as a four and a six.

Ko pushed them towards me. "Are you a betting girl? If you can't roll hire than ten, I'll leave you alone and give you two tickets to the local amusement park. However, if you roll lower than ten, you have to tell me everything. Of course, it will be our little secret." She winked at me. My hand shot out to push the dice away. No way would I bet something like that. My hand froze when Yutaka's eyes went bright. We talked about going to an amusement park for a while. My teeth tore into my lip; my hands scooped up the dice. With a toss, I listened to them rock against the desk. My eyes clamped shut. Yutaka let out a gasp.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Finally, chapter six is done. What has it been two week now? I literally had no time to work on this, so forgive me. Working on my original novel (which is in the final stages of editing than it's on to finding an agent for publication) I do hope everyone will enjoy chapter six; this is probably one of my favorite chapters.

Also, thanks to anyone who reviewed. Your comments are always appreciated. Writing in a Light Novel format is harder than I expected especially when I used to be rather in depth with my works. Well, cheers to me.


	7. Chapter 7

All right, hopefully it won't take me two weeks to publish this chapter. I just finished the hard edits on my original story, so I should get a little more time for Lucky Star.

Here we go

Chapter 7

Gambles and Merchandising.

Minami Iwasaki

I considered myself to be smart. I got in the top ten of our class, I tutored kids sometimes, and aced tests almost every time. I studied and worked hard. However, gambling was not my forte. The moment the dice left Ko's hand, my heart followed to the desk and bounced around in gory delight. My knees quaked as they seemed to endlessly bounce around. This must be how professional poker players feel, and I quickly shut my eyes, unable to look at the hand I was dealt. Yutaka's gasp sent a surge of energy into; I had sometime good. I felt it.

"Ohhh, eight," Ko said, pointing to my number lower than ten. I lost… Damn, and I thought Yutaka's gasp was a good thing.

Hiyori patted my shoulder. "It's ok. She beats me all the time at dice." They're probably rigged then.

"All right, I want the dirt," Ko said, "We made a deal, and you lost." Yutaka tugged on my shirt sleeve. She knew what this meant. Ko wasn't much of a blabber mouth; I feared Patty more than I did her. The only difference was Ko had contacts, contacts, who like Patty, could spread rumors around like a virus. Fortunately for me, Patty kept her mouth shut. Would Ko do the same?

"Why do you want to know so much?" Yutaka asked. The upper classmen shot her a nasty glare that put my poor friend in her place. As representative of the nurse's office and Yutaka's friend, I couldn't let the stand. Nero taught me something yesterday. I had to take control.

I said, "Patricia Martin's cousin and his friend are currently staying at my house and Miyuki Takura's house."

"Who's Miyuki Takura?" Hiyori cupped her hands a couple inches away from her breasts.

Ko snapped her fingers. "You mean boob girl." Her statement made me shutter. I always wanted larger breasts, but people treated Miyuki like an animal sometimes. I could only imagine what the guys talked about.

"They're here for that big cancer show thing," I continued, "They're going to try to be in it." Ko laughed t my comment. She knew as well as I did that getting in was like a million in one chance. The guys were good on their own, but with me and a lineup of equally good bands, I wasn't sure if they could make it. It still felt nice to help…

"Sounds like your housing a pack of idiots," Ko insulted, "What are these guys even life? Are they those punky kids, who pride themselves on anarchy and all that other stuff?" Um…not exactly. How do I say this without bastardizing any of them? Honestly, John was the only one I considered to be a good guy. Dean and Nero fell to the bottom of my list of most pleasant people to be around.

Yutaka piped right in. "They are very nice. Minami is going to be helping them." Ko's face pissed me off. Like Nero the day before, a look of disbelief stuck on her like stick notes. I swear, she utters one word, and it's on.

"That's amazing," Ko said with chuckle. She shook my hand like I was already a rock star. "What, are these guys so desperate that started taking up local talent?" Was that supposed to be an insult or a compliment…?

"They're lead guitarist couldn't come," I explained, not knowing the full story.

"More power to you," Ko slapped my back. A sharp pain ran through my shoulders as her nails accidently dug into me. It took all I had to not yelp in pain. While I contemplated my battle wounds, Ko looked to Hiyroi. "When do I get to meet these guys?"

Hiyroi shrugged. "I haven't met them myself."

"Who said you could meet them?" I raised my voice. It was just enough that the class stared at me with wide eyes. Yea, I got; the quiet girl actually said something louder than a whisper.

"What is there some horrible punishment if I meet these guys in person?"

Yutaka cocked her head. "Yea Minami, why can't Yasaka-san meet them?" It wasn't so much to protect them from her; it was to protect her from them especially Nero. From the way John talked, Nero preyed on any girl he deemed worthy of preying on. Ko-san was…very pretty. It wouldn't take much to get Nero's juices pumping and his hunting gear on.

"Looks like Hiyroi and I are coming over for a visit today," Ko proudly stated. As an afterthought, she looked to her accomplice, "You're free tonight, right?"

Hiyori nodded. "If you move my deadline back a day."

"Nah, you can finish and come with me." Hiyori's head collided with the desk. I assumed her deadline was the next day. As I patted our starving artist's head, Ko took her leave. I didn't even get a chance to choice my objection. It was the principle of the things. She'd never been to my house before, never once bothered to talk with me unless Hiyori was around, and rarely paid any mind to stuff outside the Animation Research Counsel, gambling, and student council.

In a flash of light like in super hero comics, I blocked her only way out. "Why are so adamant on meeting them? You're not even that great of friends with Patty." Sure, she was on better terms with her than she was me.

"Iwasaki-san," Ko began, "American guys love Asian girls, American guys are cute, and American guys have lots of money. Think of the profit to be made with just a quick game of poker or two. I'll have them sweeping the floors faster than you can say Casino Royal." She pretended to hold a gun to my head, making a playful bang sound. Lucky for me, fake bullets won't do me in.

I had to make something up. "Yasaka-san, these guys are level headed. They won't buy into your gambling escapades."

"Minami-chan, are you crazy." Lovely, the devil showed up to ruin my plans. With a height similar to Ko, Patty stood in the doorway, watching our little bout like it was one of her animes. She continued, "I was just talking with them, John called me. He says Nero is dying to do something dangerous, so what could be more dangerous than a game of poker with Ko-chan." Our gambling buddy took a bow. It was true. Anyone who took Ko on at gambling would either end up a millionaire (which was very difficult) or go home in a barrel.

"Come on Minami-chan," Ko threw her arm around me, "I bet when those guys run out of money I can get them to do anything. Landry, cook, clean, or maybe there's one you're interested in." I pushed her off. Her very words even suggesting I liked one of them disgusted me.

Patty shook her head. "Ko, you don't know Iwasaki very well. She already had a lover." She gave a point to Yutaka, who wasn't paying much attention to us but busily tried reviving Hiyori.

"Is that true Minami-chan?" I wouldn't deny it. Yutaka was…special to me.

"I don't believe we're on a first name basis," I scolded. Ko threw her hands up and apologized repeatedly.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Despite my attempts to talk her out of it, Ko, dragging Tamura-chan along, headed over to my house for the first and probably last time. Unfortunately, Patty couldn't make it; she had work right after school. All my other attempts to garner friends busted as well. Yutaka got sick, both Hiiragi sisters had no interests in going back a second day, and Konata left before I could talk with her. Though I loved Tamura-chan as a friend, something about having Ko along made her seem useless. It was a one woman battle, and I was already exhausted from dealing with the guys.

"I didn't know you were so rich," Ko said as she stepped through my front door. She didn't even take her shoes off before saying. "Look at the big white dog." Cherry spread herself out along the center of the hall. Dead to the world, she slept peacefully until Ko jumped next to her and began snuggling in her white fur.

Hiyori sighed. "Why does that dog like everyone but me?"

"She just needs to get to know you," I replied. Glaring, Hiyori pointed to Ko, who seemed to be getting along with Cherry just fine despite never have been to my house before. Maybe Hiyori was the type that made dogs angry? I don't know; I'm not an expert on the species. She should ask Miyuki.

"Your dog is so cute," Ko roughly patted Cherry's belly.

"I thought you wanted to meet the band…" I muttered.

She jumped to her feet. "That's right. Where are these guys?" I lead my guests upstairs to where the guys' rooms were. I could tell their personalities apart just from looking at the door. John's door was wide open; he sat in a plush chair, reading a rather thick book. Seeing us from the corner of his eye, He waved and returned to reading. Nero's door was shut though hearing us come up the stairs cause some rustling in his room. In seconds, the door flew open and their stood Nero in all his bedtime glory. His hair reminded me of a mad scientist, and the only thing cover his body was a pair of boxers.

"Sup," he said with a yawn. We were speechless with the exception of Ko who started laughing with comedic delight. Nero glanced down at his pants, realizing he was standing up rather firm. "Sorry, I just woke up and haven't masturbated in like a week, so this sort of thing can happen." Someone please shoot me now.

Like nothing happened, Ko held out her hand. "Hey there, I'm Ko Yasaka, Minami's friend." We weren't really friends…

"Nero Seross," he mumbled groggily, "All time rocker and all time bad ass." Seeming only polite, Hiyori shook Nero's hand as well.

"It's Hiyori Tamura," she said, trying to keep her eyes off Nero's pants.

"So'd you guys have like a half day or something?" he asked.

Ko shook her head. "It's past three in the afternoon."

"Fuck, it's the late." I tried pushing my friends away from Nero. He'd only leave a bad taste in their mouth. I wanted them to meet John above anyone else. He was the nicest; well, Randy was very nice as well. Dean seemed nice too, but his slow mentality took a bit of time to get used to. I herded my friends towards the other room; Nero acted as my sheep dog, following me around in an attempt to help. The only problem was he seemed more interested in staring at my friends than actually helping. Did this surprise me? No…

Not needing to be asked, John jumped from the bed to greet my friends like any normal person would. Fortunately, he had pants on. "Hi there," He started, "I'm John Martin, Patty's cousin. Uhhh…you know her right." His questions was directed to Ko.

"You mean Martin-san," she said, "Yea, her and Hiyori are closer than two peas in a pod."

"Right, I saw her with Hiyori when we had our quest to the school," he mentioned, "You're the one who draws?"

Hiyori answered, "We both draw." She motioned to Ko. "She's better than me" Ko laughed.

"I'm not a published doujinshi mangaka," she said. John's eyes lit up when he learned of Hiyori's talent. He quickly began asking what she did much to Hiyori's embarrassment. He better watch out or she'll draw perverted things with him too…

While this happened, Nero was busy looking around the room, paying little attention to any of the anime words. Finally, he piped, "Um…third party here thinks anime can suck dick. What did those words mean?"

"Doujinshi is like a fan made manga," Hiyori explained, "Lots of people do them."

"Mangaka is just a manga artist," Ko finished, "So you're not into anime?" She leaned in with a sly grin. Nero returned with an equally sly grin. If I didn't know better, a fight was about to break out in this room. Not a good thing when considering they could break something.

I stepped between them. "Guys, let's not get too crazy here."

"Minami," Nero said, "This is a moment when you shouldn't mess with us. Ko has issued a challenge, and I will accept and defeat her."

Hiyori looked to John. "What challenge did she issue?"

"God if I know…" John muttered. In a flash, Nero and Ko threw their hands in the center. Their fists were gripped tight, looking ready to decimate each other.

"If I win this," Ko said, "You have to pay me five hundred yen."

Nero laughed at her amount. "Five hundred, I'll fucking bet you two thousand. You could then suck on that bitch." John's mouth dropped. I couldn't blame him considering twenty five bucks was thrown onto the table all over a rock, paper, scissors game. Hiyori busily scratched down this scene in her book. See, she was going to use this in one of her mangas.

Ko's hand shot to the sky. "Ready! One! Two! Three! Shoot!" Their hands went in. Nero's hand laid flat, looking ready to karate chop Ko. However, the president of the animation research society gave a sideways piece sign. She flashed a grin as scissors cut paper.

"That's two thousand, five hundred yen," she said.

"Fuck you," Nero yelled, "It's best two out of three."

Ko laughed. "We didn't agree to that."

"It's a rock paper scissors law, Nero said, "Right Minami."

"Don't get me involved in this…" I took a step back. I tried to break this up once; I wasn't going to do it again. Besides, taking sides could prove detrimental to my existence. Reluctantly, Nero stuffed his hand into his pocket, pulling out a torn up leather wallet. He pulled out two American bills, a twenty and a five. He forced it into Ko's hands.

"What am I going to do with this?" she asked.

Nero replied, "Go get it exchanged for yen. I haven't cashed in all my money yet." Ko pocketed her winnings. Though not what she wanted, it was money and could be used for something. She shot me a grin; her plan to milk these guys started, and it wasn't going to end there. Her scheme targeted John next. She slunk over to him, readying whatever form of gambling she could. Lucky for us, the doorbell rang.

Vvvvvvvvvvvv

John Martin-

Patty showed up after she heard Hiyori and Ko were over. However, she didn't come to see me, her awesome cousin, or his friend Nero, who was slightly less awesome (don't tell him I said that). Patty ran off with her artist friend to do something that didn't involve us. Girls tended not to explain what these things are. Nero, realizing he was still in his underwear, finally decided to go put pants on. Thankfully, we wouldn't have to see his hairy legs anymore. Minami got a call from her mother in the other room. This left me and Ko sitting in the living room without so much as a word.

However, I couldn't keep my eyes to myself. Her tan skin and blonde hair were striking to say the least. I remembered all the girls in my school who enjoyed browning themselves darker than chocolate and coloring their hair a bright blonde. Ko was dark, but it wasn't obnoxious. Her blonde hair was colored as well, but again, I wouldn't call her out on it. She pleasantly looked nice, easy to talk to, and fun. Why couldn't I seem to say something was the bigger question?

Finally, she looked over at me. "John right?"

"Yea, that's my name," I replied. Then, we went back into silence. I didn't have this problem with any of Patty's other friend. Then again, Patty was there to get me talking.

"Nero seems interesting," Ko went on.

"He can be the life of the party."

"How are the other guys?"

"Pretty cool." With a sigh, Ko moved from her seat on the other side of the room. She plopped down right next to me so her skirt touched my leg. The armrest blocked any attempt to escape as she forcefully entered my personal space.

"There now will you talk with me," she said, "Geez, you've been so quiet."

I bowed my head. "I'm sorry. Usually Nero keeps the conversation going…"

"Don't apologize," she ordered, "Just change. Here, you can talk now. Ask me anything; I don't care what it is?" Don't say what color are your panties; don't say what color are your panties. Telling a guy to ask anything was a really bad idea. My mind instantly fell into the gutter; my face must been burning with. My mind got stuck on the escape line "I need to pee" and the compliment "That uniform looks really nice on you", neither of which are questions and probably would make me look like a perverted ass.

I shot. "I need to pee on you." My tongue twisted together. "I mean, how are you doing?" I don't know if I just saved myself or dug a deeper hole.

Ko's face was like glass. Only the edges of her mouth perked up. "Real smooth…"

"Thank you." It was the only thing I could come up with. Surprisingly, it worked. Ko fell to the ground laughing. I turned even brighter as I feared anyone coming to see what was so funny. I didn't want to have to explain my smoothness.

"You're a crazy guy," Ko said, lifting her head up. She held her hand out. "I don't think we've been formally introduced cause of my bet with Nero. I'm Ko Yasaka." I shook her head cautiously. She could pull some crazy ninja move on me.

"John Martin."

By this time, Nero came running down the stairs. He was adorned in his typical blue jeans and button up shirt that was darker than the night. He ran his hands through his hair and laughed. "Back guys."

"It took you that long to put pants on?" Ko posed.

"Sorry but I had to find one that could hold my massive junk," Nero replied. Considering what I just said to Ko, that last thing I wanted to think about was anyone's junk. While Nero made some disgusting vulgar thrusts, Minami came walking in from the kitchen.

"Sorry, mom needed me to do some-" she froze when she saw Nero doing his thing. "Did I miss something?"

I replied, "Nothing that isn't normal."

"This is normal?" Ko inquired.

"Pretty much this."

Patty and Hiyori joined us a couple of seconds later. My cousin was the first to comment. "I see you guys are having a good time." Nero shot them a grin as he plopped down next to Ko, sandwiching her in between this bread of testosterone. I felt really bad for her. Judging from Minami's reaction to everything, she probably wasn't used to this many people at her house at one time. Ko and Patty treated it like a party while Hiyori seemed indifferent. As long as she was around someone, she seemed content.

And then we had Nero, who enjoyed his harem. "So, I was wondering if you could help me out with something. There's this gal, long orange hair, what's she like." The girls gave each other glance. No one knew what he was talking about.

Patty offered the only bit of information. "I think I heard Konata talking about her one time. Um…they're Hiiragi's friends. You should prolly talk to her."

"Shit, she hates me," Nero muttered.

"Isn't it your fault," I reminded.

Minami nodded. "We weren't very nice." Ko leaned back against the couch. She let out a few chuckles before patting Nero on the head like a dog.

"Who could hate this guy?" I hated to say it, but a lot of people hated Nero. When you're that much of a dick, you gain a lot of enemies; these enemies will try to destroy you. No, these enemies will rape you then destroy you. Nero was lucky enough to be strong willed, so he never experience said rape. I didn't blame Kagami for disliking him. A lot of people didn't like him. Nero's reply to that, "They can suck my cock."

"Bitches and fucktards," Nero replied to Ko, "Someone should slap them across the fucking face."

"Emotional…" Hiyori muttered. That was a very tame Nero. No one wanted to see him when his panties were in a bunch.

Deciding we went a tad too off topic, I returned to the matter at hand. "Why do you want to know about this girl?"

"Because," Nero started, "Nero has selected his target, and Nero will capture it." With those words, I had a strong urge to call Kagami (though I lacked a phone number) and tell her to tell her friend to get the hell out of the country or this planet for that matter. Once Nero acquired a target, he was ready to do whatever it would take.

Ko instantly became intrigued. "So you admire someone? I can do some reconnaissance work for you. Right Hiyori?"

"No, no," I shouted, "No reconnaissance. No introducing anyone to Jim. We had a deal, a strong handshake that said Jim would not be placed onto the playing field."

"Jim?" Hiyori asked Minami.

She sighed. "Just let the talk. It's better if you don't know."

"I didn't say I would introduce her to Jim." Nero jumped from his seat. His eyes burned with the same passion that they had when Minami took her guitar out. Now, I'd seen Nero talk about girls in less than satisfactory ways, but he never exhibited this much passion women related. "Listen John, when you love a woman, you see your world inside her eyes."

"Wow, that's romantic," Patty commented.

Oh hell no! He looked straight at my cousin. "He stole in from a song." I then turned my attention back to Nero. "Don't fucking copy Steve Perry!"

"I can copy a lyrical master if I want to," Nero shot back. Nero threw his fists into the air. I was never the strongest guy, but I would fight if it meant I could protect any of these girls from Nero and his immoral desires. However, our little bout became enough for Minami, who gripped us both by our ears. Her finger squeezed as tight as possible.

"That's enough out of you…" she said with as much calmness as always. Like a mother, she sent us away to spate corner.

Vvvvvvvvvv

Patty and Hiyori took off shortly after that. They said something about homework, and Minami went pale as she sprinted up the stairs, slamming her door full force. I always finished my work after I got home. It was nice not having to worry about the work. As a gloated at my accomplishments, Ko gathered up her bag. With everyone gone, she really had no reason to stick around.

However, Nero stopped her from setting an inch outside the door. "I need to ask you something."

"I am single, but I don't think it'll work," Ko joked. Nero let out a good laugh.

"No, that's not even close," he said, "I already got my target set. Anyways, what do you know about merchandising?" Ah, selling our name might add to our chance of getting into the battle of the bands. When Nero had an idea that didn't involve sex or sex, he really could be a valuable asset to the group.

"I know very little…" Ko replied, "However, T-shirts and stuff can't be too tough."

I added, "It should be easy to find some type of shirt making company. Plus, our band's name is a little over the top, so I doubt anyone will have it." Nero shot me a glance that said "What you talking about." A nervous feeling shot through my spine; I asked, "We are talking about the band?"

"Are you fucking retarded?" Nero said, "Who would buy our band's shit?" Ok fine, he had a point. We were more unknown in Japan than we were stateside, and only our small town even knew of our existence. Life started to look bleak.

Ko cocked her head. "You lost me too. I was expecting band stuff too."

"You people don't see this opportunity." Nero acted like this was completely obvious. Sorry but my thought patterns usually contain logic in them. "We're going to sell Konata and Kagami stuff."

"Excuse me?" That was the only thing that left my mouth.

He continued, "You saw all those guys. We could sell perverted shirts and mugs all revolving around their lesbian thing. Remember John, if you show them picture of naked women, dudes will come." There was a long pause as we stared each other done. I remembered Mr. Seross using the term a few times; I got it the first time. Nero, on the other hand, thought slightly more innocently. Odd, isn't it?

"Um…" Ko started in.

"Oh shit," Nero cut her off, "I just got that. Damn my dad is a sneaky bastard." That was really obvious, so I had no sympathy what so ever. Followed with the typical face palm, I couldn't come up with the words to describe his failure. Ko busted her gut as she watched Nero's face turn crooked. He did look rather adorable like that.

"Trust me," I said, "You won't be getting any picture of them naked."

Nero shook his head. "We don't need to. Guys love the whole girls kissing thing. We ask for their numbers even though they're lesbians." Ko and I couldn't help but exchange glances. Out of all the people here, she was probably the only one who could take this and not be disgusted.

"The worst part about this," I said, "is he'd right. You probably could make a killing."

"Will you help?" Nero instantly asked Ko once he wrapped me into his stupid little plan. I had a strong urge to kill myself right there and pray I got to heaven or someplace Nero will never exist in. Maybe Dimension X would be a good substitute. I heard the weather is great this time of year.

Ko shrugged her shoulders. The whole "girls kissing" thing was probably a little much for her. However, from her gambling I saw earlier, she liked to make a quick buck. "I guess…" she muttered.

"I'll do it on one condition. We need band related stuff too." I threw in there. We needed to make this productive in some way.

"That's a great idea!" Nero yelled, "We can sell a lesbo shirt and give them a band shirt for free. People will then be wearing our shit. Or, we could make them buy both to get the lesbo shirt. That's a better idea." He slammed his fist against the wall. The house shook for a second. He screamed in the deepest voice possible, "Let's do this!"

Oh, how I wanted to die…

Vvvvvvvvvvvvv

So, you guys know that whole less than two week thing. I lied and refuse to change to the top. It will always remind me of my failure.

So I began to notice something interesting. For some reason, chapter 1 and 5 get the most attention out of everyone. When I first published it, I assumed it was because people read 1 and then jumped to 5 cause people are lazy. However, I published chapter 6 and 5 continued to outdo all the other chapters with the exception of 1. Who is that? If chapter 5 so funny that people can't take their eyes off it or is it so bad that people like to read it just to mock it?


End file.
